Charlotte Jane- Saying Good Bye

Yesterday I celebrated my 27th birthday without my sweet Charlotte Jane. Though by no means our plans, the grace of our sweet Jesus carried us through, just as He has everyday since Charlotte's birth, death, burial and memorial service.

We wanted to post some final thoughts from our 7 days with Charlotte Jane and the following 3 days from the time she died until her memorial service.

-First off, we now have a greater understanding of God's purpose for the Body of Christ- the Church and what it means to truly carry one another's burdens. We literally praise God for CityView on a weekly basis. This praise has taken on a much deeper meaning to us over the last week. We are so blessed to be able to run with a group of men and women that so deeply love Jesus and each other. We truly experienced the church joining us in suffering and helping us to carry this burden.

-Next we learned more in these last days about suffering than we have in our entire lives to this point. As our pastor said during Charlotte's memorial service, all suffering is an echo of the cross and some of us get the privilege of carrying that suffering on a deeper or more realized way from time to time. In the midst of our pain, while seeing the place where Charlotte would be buried, we discovered a family that lost 3 children in a span of 9 months. While we are suffering, we realized that we're certainly not the only ones who have suffered in this way and we believe that God will help us to see with a clearer lens those around us who are suffering and help us to better carry their burdens.

- It is clearly evident to us that God used Charlotte in her 7 days for His glory in profound ways! While we probably won't learn the full extent of His plans and purposes this side of Heaven, we see glimpses and reflections of the ways He worked through her and are confident that He will continue to do so.

- Also, we have learned more about the true meaning of joy. As we have always believed that "God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him", we understand the concept of being satisfied in a much deeper way after this tragedy. Satisfaction and joy do not always mean "happiness". Sometimes satisfaction is looking at your life at the point where you are experiencing deeply rooted pain and being able to say "Christ is enough". We've had to do that many times in the past couple of weeks in order to get through. One of my favorite texts we received was from a CityView family who told me that they were all gathered together on their knees at an hour when most were asleep, praying that Christ would be enough for us in this tragedy, and in fact, He has been!

-Charlotte's life and legacy will continue on in a very real way in our family. We are very sure that God is going to use this event to draw people to Himself as he places people in our lives that we can minister to. We already learned of a couple who is facing a similar challenge. They have been told that their baby who is due sometime this spring, has issues that are "incompatible with life". We are hoping to get to speak with this couple and encourage them with the Truth that has been so encouraging to us. Furthermore, we trust and believe that God is not random in choosing us to endure this trial. We know that God will use us, even Lizzie and Lainie to minister to those who face similar situations.

Tonight as I watched Elizabeth and Elaine playing in the bathtub and as we sang together as a family, I missed Charlotte deeply. We are well aware that our pain and suffering will continue and that we will have good days and days where we struggle. Through it all though, we are thankful that we can cling to the Truth that our God is Good and is working all things together for His glory and our good.

Thank you for all of you who have followed our journey, prayed for us, encouraged us, cried with us and celebrated Charlotte's life with us. Words cannot express our thanks and love!