Charlotte Jane, after 2 years

 Happy Birthday Charlie Jane!  We met our sweet girl 2 years ago tonight, a moment I will never forget.  While it was terribly frightening and overwhelming, it also was amazingly peaceful.  As a team of doctors worked to save our baby girl, I prayed and the Lord was so near.  Justin and I prayed and read Truth.  My mom and Taber arrived and waited with us.  Our God was there. He granted the peace that He promises.  His strength allowed us to breathe.
Two years later, that day is still so fresh.  A kiss on my baby girl's forehead.  Holding my husband's hand.  Embracing my momma and dear friend.  There was so much that was unknown that night, but the Holy Spirit granted me a quiet confidence. Our God does not change.  He is steady.  He is THE Rock.
Today was a sweet celebration of Charlotte's life and the One who spoke her life into being.  We had a great time as a family, enjoying a breakfast out.  An older man stopped by our table to tell us what a handsome family we have.  I smiled, thinking how much more handsome we would be if Charlotte was here.  I stopped at Walgreens to pick up pics of Charlie I had printed.  The photo tech tenderly asked to hear Charlotte's story.  I got to speak about God's faithfulness to this precious woman; Charlotte's impact continues.  Dear friends gathered with me for lunch together and some delicious strawberry cake!  Lainie and I snuggled and took a nap together (now that hasn't happened in a LONG time!).  Lizzie and I read together.  Liv and I got some good cuddle time.  We picked out balloons and had some nice time at the cemetery singing happy birthday to Charlotte and rejoicing over her life.  Our night concluded with Mexican food together as a family.
My heart still hurts, because I miss my little girl.  I wonder what she would be like!  Calm and reserved like Lizzie or spunky and spirited like Lainie?  What would life with four little ladies be like? What kind of birthday party would we have had for her?  How would life be different?  And the questions just keep going on and on. There are things that I do know though.  Charlotte Jane made an incredible impact on this world for the Kingdom of God.  Charlie's life was a powerful 7 days of the Lord pouring out his mercies upon His people.  Charlotte pointed us to Jesus. Grace upon Grace was granted to us through our daughter, Charlotte Jane.  We do not grieve as those who have no hope; no, because of Jesus, we look forward to that unfathomable day when death will be no more and we will experience eternal JOY!
Those quiet encouragements that the Holy Spirit assured me of the night Charlotte was born continue to carry me each day.   Our God does not change.  He is steady.  He is THE Rock.  I can stand on this side of two incredibly painful years and testify that these things are true!  Thank you Charlie Jane for teaching your momma so much.  Oh how we love you precious girl!

Here are some pics from our day together.