Saturday, June 19, 2010

After 4 Months


Thursday marked 4 months since our precious Charlotte Jane went to be with Jesus in glory. It has been a good month for us. I have felt more like myself than I have in a good while. I had the privilege of teaching a session at our women's retreat and a couple of nights of our Sports Camp, and interestingly both of my teaching opportunities honed in on Ephesians 2, the gospel. I love teaching, because I end up preaching so much to myself, and it's always good when it's the gospel:)
At the same time, I have had to fight for truth a lot this month. It seems the enemy has chosen to attack more this month than any other since Charlotte's death. I am thankful for friends who have not forgotten and continue to contend for the gospel in the life of our family. Not a week has gone by without a note, or a text, or an email, or a facebook message filled with scripture and prayers or just a simple "I love you!" Tears puddle in my eyes as I read these words that encourage my heart and remind me of the precious hope we have in Jesus! I am incredibly thankful for our committed friends!

This month we had a great turnout for a ladies' night at CityView where we put together boxes for a ministry we are beginning called Hopeful Hearts. Some of the money donated in memory of Charlotte was used to purchase supplies to get Hopeful Hearts started:) This is an incredible opportunity to minister to women who have experienced miscarriage, infant loss, infertility or adoption loss, and I am excited to be a part of it! I know that God will continue to heal my heart through this ministry and I am hopeful that I will be able to encourage others as well. I look forward to September when we are able to begin meeting together and inviting women to join us who are struggling through similar issues.

Justin and I have decided that we will visit the cemetery each month on Charlotte's birthday, the 10th. June was the first month that we took Elizabeth and Elaine with us since the day we buried Charlotte. It was a sweet time of worship as a family as we sang and prayed together. The girls wanted to sing "My God is So Big," so we did. As we sang, I was thankful for the simplicity but the BIG Truth of this song. When we got to "the mountains are His, the valleys are His, the stars are His handiwork too" part, I began to think of the mountains and valleys as a metaphor for life. The highs and lows of our lives are in His hands, and He is intimately involved in it all. There truly is nothing my God cannot do, including healing my broken heart.

We miss our precious Charlie Jane, and as I watch my friends' babies who are around 4 months old, I can't help but let my mind wander for a minute or two about what her little personality would be like, how much Lizzie and Lainie would love her, and how she would be growing. Then I return to reality where I don't have a baby girl in my arms, but I rejoice that sweet Charlotte knows NO pain and is in the presence of our Great King; my sadness doesn't last long when I set my heart on this truth!

Again, thank you for not letting us walk this journey alone. Your prayers on our behalf and words of encouragement are more precious than you will ever know. Love!

6 comments:

Kristie said...

Sweet friend...thank you for continuing to share your heart as you walk this road. Forever thankful for Charlotte Jane and the incredible ways the Lord has and continues to use her precious life! Love you!

Dressed-Up Dots said...

<3.....

The Campbell Family said...

Love you! I will forever remember the text of her arrival and fervently praying during the night and looking for updates each time I woke up. Jesus has taken away her pain and I know he can heal yours too, but until then know we are always thinking of you and saying prayers for your family.

Unknown said...

What a blessing you are Angela.

The Stikos said...

I think often of Charlotte. My prayer is that you would continue to heal as you rest in God's goodness.

poorduck said...

Oh dear friend. I often think of CJ when I look at my little Auburn, knowing that she would have a friend very close to her age. I grieve with you and love you all so much.