After 8 Months

(Note: most of this post was composed prior to this week... The past few days have only solidified these thoughts.)
After 8 months without our Charlotte, God has clearly done some incredible things in our lives! I have contemplated where to go with this post, because this month has been such a melting pot of emotions. However, the one constant (other than our incredible LORD, without whom our lives would look monumentally different!) in these very uncertain and foggy months has been the relationship I have with my rock solid husband.

I have to admit that there was an element of concern for our marriage after Charlotte passed away. There was just so much uncertainty, and I was honestly scared about how the enemy would choose to attack. This is where I extend sincere thanks to those of you who have fought for our relationship in prayer! While there have been challenging moments and days, I must say that overall God has strengthened our marriage and given us a depth of intimacy and appreciation for each other that would be hard to come by without the loss of Charlie.

Not that we have grieved exactly the same, but God has given us a sincere understanding of one another that has intensified our love for each other.

We both have our differing ways of escaping the situation. For Justin it is humor. I appreciate this greatly most of the time; his quick wit can bring a much needed smile to my face, but he also backs off quickly when I let him know it's enough. For both of us, we escape into busyness as well. I attempt to be SuperMom (making Lizzie's costume and making popcorn balls for her class the night of my miscarriage), which is not always healthy, and Justin gently reminds me when I have escaped too far and need to take care of myself. Justin throws himself into excellence in his work providing for our family as well as in being a pastor. Together though, we also have pressed more deeply into Jesus and one another. We have been forced to really talk about the depths of our hearts and things that we likely would not have without the events of 2010. Scripture spoken to each other has greater meaning, and wresting through Truth together has solidified what we believe. We have been forced to evaluate our lives and to actually live out what we have claimed as Truth. I would NEVER have hoped to have walked through the immense pain and trying circumstances to which God has called us. However, I am thankful to be able to confidently say on this side that God is indeed faithful to His children. It is our HOPE and CONFIDENCE that God is indeed working together all things for our good and His glory. Thank you Jesus for Justin Bassett, the man I get to walk this journey alongside. May our marriage point to You!

1 Corinthians 13:12

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

He withholds no good thing...

Today has been a disappointing day... After some concern about our baby, we went to the Dr. to find that there was no heartbeat, and while baby should be measuring 10 weeks he/she was only measuring 8 weeks. Our hearts hurt deeply, but in the pain we are believing that God is sufficient, sovereign, and good!

Psalm 84:11-12 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Dear Sweet Baby,

I'm so glad I got to be your mommy for a few short weeks. I do not understand God's plan, but I do trust it fully. I am confident that your life and the loss of your life will be used by God to magnify Himself and to draw people more deeply in love with the King. I miss you, and I want to hold you in my arms, but I trust that our good God knows far better.

I love you,

Mommy

Here We Go Again!!!

So it's true....

Angela is 9 weeks along and due in May; May 24th to be exact. We went to the doctor on Monday and saw baby's heartbeat and even saw the baby do a "flip" in the womb.

We're thankful for this incredible blessing and more than ever, we are incredibly aware of God's sovereignty and provision in our lives.

For those of you who have followed our journey over the past 8 months and prayed for us during this time, we're so thankful for you. God has blessed us in so many ways and we are still seeing incredible ways that God used Charlotte's life for His glory. We can have hope that tummy baby will have as big of an impact, though we obviously hope that his or her time on earth will be much longer. Please continue to pray for us over these next several months. We love you guys!

Justin & Ang

Go RANGERS!

Last week we took advantage of awesome weather and $3 tickets and had a great family night at the ballpark. The girls did GREAT- way better than I would have ever imagined. We had soooo much fun, and here are the pictures to prove it! Cotton Candy and the Rangers Girls made the night extra special. (and the 9 trips Elaine and I made to the bathroom:)

4 Years With Our Lizzie Girl!

September 15th marked 4 precious years that God has given us with Elizabeth Grace. Words cannot express the JOY this girl brings to our days. We have a blast together and our conversations range from the very serious of interpreting scripture to the crazy of what would we do if we lived in a tiny Lego house. As I looked back at pictures from the past year, I couldn't help but smile as I recounted Lizzie's growth and multiple accomplishments; she has grown up!

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the past year.

Reading Bible Book with Daddy each night followed by a Lizzie story are important parts of our evening!

Running in the wind in her Easter dress and enjoying life!

Bustin' a move!

Lizzie's first play to attend "Cinderella". She curtsied when she met the prince and was disappointed to not get to ride in the carriage. She and Addie sat together and were wide-eyed most of the performance.

GigEm Ags! Lizzie's first trip to Aggieland last spring was so much fun!

Puzzles have been mastered by this girl! She was very proud of her first 100 piecer!

9 months of gymnastics were a lot of fun... my super tall girl will likely not be a gymnast, but she was a good sport and enjoyed her time with her friend Eden.

I just love this picture!!!! At Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Trey's ranch, a great place to relax!

She can do sooo many things by herself now, including putting on her life jacket. Our time at the lake with Grammy and Pop was a blast! Lizzie especially enjoyed fishing with Pop!

Sweet sisters! Before bedtime hugs and kisses are a must!

Swim Lessons!!! Lizzie took 2 weeks of swim lessons with Beth Anne and she did great! Swimming underwater to get rings was one of her favorite things to do.

Addie and Lizzie love each other so much... enough to fight and then cry when they are separated. The blessing of having your best friend through your backyard is HUGE!

READING! Yes, Lizzie Grace is reading:) She loves books and can sound out most one syllable words and knows a large chunk of sight words. Her Tag pen has been a lot of fun for her.

Cheerleaders!!! Date Night=Dress Up and some type of performance by these two:)

Playing in the sprinklers-- a free spirit that I ADORE!

Celebrating Elizabeth's 4th birthday stretched out over a couple of weeks. It began with cupcakes for the Duck Class.

On her real birthday we spent the morning and Grammy and Pop's house where she got to hang out with the animals:)

For her dinner with the fam, she could pick ANY restaurant... and we went to Spring Creek, because they have good mac and cheese and yummy bread:)

Aren't they cute?!

Lizzie scored big with a TinkerBell sleeping bag, an Easy Bake oven, a piggy bank, clothes, a zhu zhu pet, nail polish and bubble bath!

Lizzie's party was on Saturday, and we had 8 little ladies dressed up like butterflies to celebrate with us! They were too cute! We had breakfast, decorated placemats, and giggled LOTS!

We love you Lizzie Grace!

After 7 Months

After 7 months without Charlotte Jane, some days are much easier than others. There are still days where I don't really function well, and my time is the Word has been sporadic. Yes, I know I need it and I know that I can't live without Truth being poured into my soul, but honestly there have been days when I haven't had the energy to fight the lies of the enemy telling me that God's word is not sufficient- what a nasty cycle that can become, huh?!

Thankfully I am surrounded by incredible friends and the best husband ever! Most recently Justin has spoken the truth of Proverbs 3:5 over me. I must confess that I initially wanted to tune him out, thinking, "yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that one." However, he then challenged me by saying, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart- what does that mean? What are you trusting in?" As we discussed it further we talked about trusting in God's character, trusting in God's sovereignty, trusting in God's promises, trusting in God's truth, and trusting in God's love for his people. Then he asked again, "Lean not on your own understanding- what does this mean?" For me it boiled down to not clinging to my idea of what this life should look like or my perception of what His best really is. All of this leaves me thankful. I have the God of the universe who has given me life through Jesus to cling to, depend on, and rest in. He is more than enough, and I need Him desperately!

As Lizzie is in preschool 2 days a week, I have loved my time alone with Elaine. However, with every moment enjoyed with just the two of us comes a reminder that it was supposed to be Lainie and Charlie. When I was asked by Lizzie's teachers for the names of her immediate family members, I didn't include Charlotte. Oh, I miss our girl!

At the cemetery this month we sang Sing to the King and worshipped our sustaining God with great HOPE. Lainie asked if an angel statue was Jesus, most likely because we say Charlotte is with Jesus, so she assumed that He had to be there at the cemetery. This was a confusing conversation with a two year old who is very concrete. My hope though is that very early on God will call Lizzie and Lainie to himself and they will grasp the truth of Christ in us, the Hope of Glory. That while Charlotte is in perfection with Jesus, he allows us a taste of glory here on earth as His Spirit dwells within us.

Thanks again for prayers lifted up on our behalf, calls, texts and emails. God has used you greatly!