Here we are, twelve years later, celebrating the life of Charlotte Jane Bassett, a baby girl who changed our world. Her seven days on this planet marked me, and I will choose, year after year, to celebrate her beautiful life.
When I woke up on Charlotte's birthday and headed to the donut shop, I talked to God, pouring out my heart of sadness, hurt, thankfulness, confusion, and so much more regarding Charlotte's short life. All I really felt Him say in response was, "You are held." No answers, just the assurance that I was heard and safe and not alone. Along this journey, sometimes friends have held me, sometimes family has held me, most often Justin has held me, but always God has held me. Have I always felt it? Nope. In fact, at times it has felt like a never-ending free fall. Ultimately though, I have been lifted up and steadied every step of the way.
For several years after Charlotte left this earth, friends coordinated a party for her, and I just showed up. It was a sweet and powerful way for friends to hold my hand on really painful days. At some point, when I was strong enough to initiate a celebration on my own, I began a tradition of having cupcakes at the park to honor Charlotte's life. Every year, I bake plenty of pink cupcakes, I invite the masses, we show up at the park with whoever can make it, we sing "Jesus Loves Me," and we enjoy sugary goodness to celebrate the life of my girl. Last week we had cupcakes at the park. I spread the word about the party beforehand and made lots of cupcakes, not exactly knowing who would show up. A precious group of friends who we currently do school with joined us, and it was sweet. These women never met Charlotte, but they want to hear about her life, and they made sacrifices to show up and hold me up on this day of remembrance. I am beyond thankful for they way these friends have held me. Their friendship is a gift.
There was a bit of a sting on that day though.
As time passes, it seems that many who walked with us through that season are no longer here on earth either, and that thought has brought me to tears more times than I can count over the past weeks. Momma, Daddy, Mamaw, Grandaddy, Bill, and Chelsie all grieved with us, and we have since grieved their passings. Even more brokenness has befallen me though by many who walked with us closely during Charlotte's life and death and have seemingly now forgotten our girl. I know life moves on and circumstances change and schedules are busy, but if I am being honest, this silence has taken my breath away. The way that our community cradled our family and loved Charlotte deeply in 2010 and the early years that followed was beautiful; it created a framework for me for what genuine love by a church family could feel like. We were literally held up by a network of friends, men and women who claimed that Charlotte's life had changed their own and that they would never forget her. This is why their absence and dead air has been so sharp.
Like a spark of hope and encouragement though, a friend showed up with a pretty plant for my girl, another friend brought me cute earrings, and a series of texts popped on my phone throughout the week of Charlotte's life from friends who aren't local but have consistently remembered my girl. There is just something about seeing and hearing friends use Charlotte Jane's name and reflect on her life that restores me. Her life mattered. Others joining me in that refrain is like giving me the biggest hug of remembrance and soothing my aching heart.
This experience has me pondering where I have dropped the ball in my relationships. What milestones have I missed for my friends? What important dates have failed to make it on my calendar? I have experienced the beauty that is the ministry of presence, and I am hopeful that I can now intentionally provide that kind of comfort and joy and peace to those in my life. Others feeling held and knowing the love of God through my presence and remembrance is just one more way that Charlotte's life continues to bring light into the world. May I keep carrying the torch.
It has always been our family's practice to celebrate our loved ones on their Heaven Days. Many friends have also adopted this tradition as a way to honor the lives of people they have loved and to share memories and to ultimately not forget precious lives and their impact. I have decided to create a Happy Heaven Day Facebook group where people can come and share about their loved ones and receive love and support and likely engage with others who have similar experiences. I envision a community being created where individuals are inspired by lives well-lived and men and women are lifted up and held on painful days. Just one more way that Charlotte Jane's life will continue to push back the darkness.
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