After 11 Months

This post is over due for sure! Our sweet Charlotte would be over 11 months old, and oh how we miss her dearly!

The past month has been monumental for Justin and me. On the 17th, which marked 11 months since we held our girl as she went to be with Jesus, a precious friend of mine gave birth to her baby girl at 25 weeks, a 1lb 12oz micro preemie.

In an instant, a place we had tried to forget (the NICU), a vocabulary that had been long since pushed to the farthest parts of my brain, and that awful feeling of helplessness all returned to our life. As we have walked with our friends over the past couple of weeks, it has been painful. As we have walked with our friends over the past couple of weeks it has been redeeming. As we have walked with our friends over the past couple of weeks it has been a blessing. We have been able to relate to the roller coaster of unknowns, fears, rejoicing over little victories, heartbreak, and thankfulness for each breath taken, and it is good to be able to honestly say, "I understand." While it has been painstakingly hard, this time has also been a precious glimpse into how God is using our story for His glory. We are not entitled to see how the Lord is working, but in His mercy, He has allowed us this peek into His plan.

We still can't wrap our finite minds around His infinite purposes and perfect ways, and we wish our CJ was here. This month, our conversations of wondering what Charlotte would be like have increased. As I watch my friends' babies who are around the same age as Charlie would be, I can't help but ponder how her personality would be developing, who she would look like, and how glorious it would be to have her here. I so miss my Charlotte Jane.

We covet your prayers as the coming weeks will certainly be challenging for our family. Our hope is to celebrate well and grieve well in these days. Jesus, be magnified in our response to you. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your story and thank your for carrying us through it.

(The picture is one of my favorites. It was the day I felt most like Charlotte's mommy. I got to wash her hair:) This was such a joy for me, and I am so thankful to Liz, her nurse, who knew how much this would mean to me. Thank you Charlotte for teaching me to rejoice in the little things!)