Daily, we are seeing the sin in our little loves, and it often makes our job as mom and teacher painfully hard. When our precious kiddos behave in a way that is hurtful to their siblings, or lazy about their assigned task, or often just downright rude, our first reaction is most often to tighten up the ship! We begin dishing out consequences and spewing all the words. ALL. THE. WORDS. You know the ones? "Are you kidding me?!" "What in the world were you thinking?!" "How dare you?!" Our children have beckoned us to hop on the roller coaster of chaos, and we have taken the bait and joined them in the ups and downs and twists and turns of anger, bitterness, hatred, and strife, Sometimes though, our harsh attempts to straighten things out can cause the opposite reaction, and our kids to become reclusive and unresponsive, only intensifying our frustration. Either way, we are not getting the response we desire, and it is exhausting and defeating.
Just yesterday we found ourselves in this place. What should have been a simple tidying of their room became a heated, name calling, tear filled explosion for my big girls. God, in His kindness, led me to try a different approach. Rather than tensing up, I relaxed. I didn't insist on my own way. I gave the girls time to just play after they had reconciled and spoken life over one another, even though there was plenty of school to complete. Instead of hardening, I softened. While I really wanted to just say, "Make your own lunches. I'm going to my room for some me time after dealing with all that," I chose to make them a big hot lunch including cookie bars. When I wanted to shut down, I opened up. Everything in me preferred to be left alone, but when one of my girls begged to help me bake, I said, "Yes." When they asked for extra chapter of our lunch time read aloud, I obliged. Rather than escaping, I leaned into the situation of our morning, and it was laden with grace.
Guess what?! There was so much peace in our home! All that needed to be accomplished was completed after lunch without complaint or issue. I wish I had a photo of my two big girls working on school, laying on the bed, side by side in the same place that had been the source of contempt just hours prior. There was redemption! While watching them from the hallway, something else caught my eye. It was the Relax, Soften, Open print pictured above. I had won it in a giveaway contest
from HeyHello Design, and as I thought of the words, I loved them for my girls. I want them to be relaxed so they can enjoy life, soft so they allow God change their hearts, and open to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Yes!
When I was looking at the HeyHello Etsy site, I realized the print was actually intended to be a card to encourage a mother during childbirth. In order to bring new life into the world, those are the things that must happen to one's body in the midst of the hard work, agony and pain. Likewise, when we encounter a challenging circumstance and desire a fresh start, we must relax, soften and open to see it come to be.
When everything in your sinful nature screams, "TENSE! HARSH! CLOSE!" God whispers, "relax, soften, open, dear one." This really is the better way.
Art Credit: Nicole Damon and Shari Henson
These ladies are legit! What a good gift!
Art Credit: Nicole Damon and Shari Henson
