(Note: most of this post was composed prior to this week... The past few days have only solidified these thoughts.)
After 8 months without our Charlotte, God has clearly done some incredible things in our lives! I have contemplated where to go with this post, because this month has been such a melting pot of emotions. However, the one constant (other than our incredible LORD, without whom our lives would look monumentally different!) in these very uncertain and foggy months has been the relationship I have with my rock solid husband.
I have to admit that there was an element of concern for our marriage after Charlotte passed away. There was just so much uncertainty, and I was honestly scared about how the enemy would choose to attack. This is where I extend sincere thanks to those of you who have fought for our relationship in prayer! While there have been challenging moments and days, I must say that overall God has strengthened our marriage and given us a depth of intimacy and appreciation for each other that would be hard to come by without the loss of Charlie.
Not that we have grieved exactly the same, but God has given us a sincere understanding of one another that has intensified our love for each other.
We both have our differing ways of escaping the situation. For Justin it is humor. I appreciate this greatly most of the time; his quick wit can bring a much needed smile to my face, but he also backs off quickly when I let him know it's enough. For both of us, we escape into busyness as well. I attempt to be SuperMom (making Lizzie's costume and making popcorn balls for her class the night of my miscarriage), which is not always healthy, and Justin gently reminds me when I have escaped too far and need to take care of myself. Justin throws himself into excellence in his work providing for our family as well as in being a pastor. Together though, we also have pressed more deeply into Jesus and one another. We have been forced to really talk about the depths of our hearts and things that we likely would not have without the events of 2010. Scripture spoken to each other has greater meaning, and wresting through Truth together has solidified what we believe. We have been forced to evaluate our lives and to actually live out what we have claimed as Truth. I would NEVER have hoped to have walked through the immense pain and trying circumstances to which God has called us. However, I am thankful to be able to confidently say on this side that God is indeed faithful to His children. It is our HOPE and CONFIDENCE that God is indeed working together all things for our good and His glory. Thank you Jesus for Justin Bassett, the man I get to walk this journey alongside. May our marriage point to You!
1 Corinthians 13:12
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
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