After 9 Months

Oh my, it is crazy to think back and realize that it has been 9 months since we held our Charlotte Jane! We miss her like crazy, and even more so lately as we have also mourned the loss of another baby. It was very fitting that Justin was able to preach Romans 8 on Sunday at CityView regarding suffering. Well done babe! (I'll let you know when it is posted, so you can listen!)

I think the biggest thing that I want to be known to all is that we are NOT strong people! If not for the strength of the Holy Spirit within us, things in our family would have looked far different over the past 9 months! The miraculous strength of Jesus has carried me. Any strength that has been displayed in me has only been a reflection of Jesus's supernatural strength that He so graciously gives to those who are His. If we attempt to be strong on our own, we will fall! My hope is that Jesus would be your strength; that any attempt of being strong on your own would be pushed aside and that you would CLING to the hope you have in Jesus. His strength is sufficient! Ephesians 6:10 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might."

Suffering well can only be done in the power of the Spirit! Crying out to the Lord in sobs of confusion and pain can be honoring to Him. I have sobbed and sobbed a lot, and I have been angry, and I have asked WHY?! many times. I have read Psalms over and over and seen that it is totally ok to pour out all of my emotions before the God of the universe. He cares deeply and assures us that this road will not be walked alone. At the end of the day though, I have to trust that God is in absolute control. He is not shocked that we have lost 2 babies is the past 9 months. He is writing this story for our family, and He is working all things together for His glory and our good.

Many of you have asked how Lizzie and Lainie are doing, and I have to tell you that their childlike faith has brought me great joy and hope (for this reason and many others, we have named our most recent baby Hope). These girls are an absolute gift and this Thanksgiving, my thankfulness for them is immense!

Please pray for our family as Thanksgiving and Christmas approach. This time last year I was prepping a Thanksgiving name game to reveal Charlotte Jane's name to our families as well as the fun that you blog followers joined us in for our blog name game! I know that there will be triggers that cause me to erupt in tears unexpectedly (like typing this right now); please pray that I would honor Christ in these moments and be directed straight back to Him.

Thanks for walking with us. Community has been one of the richest blessings this year. We are thankful for you!