After 1 month

Incredibly, it has been a month since sweet Charlotte was born and forever changed our lives! I just wanted to share a few thoughts about where we are and what God has been doing over the past few weeks.

We continue to grieve our loss, as we are reminded throughout each day of our baby who is no longer here. Sometimes the trigger is the toddler bed in Lizzie's room that Lainie doesn't have to sleep in, others it is the babycenter emails that keep appearing in my inbox, or the boxes of sweet little girl clothes that Charlotte will never wear, or the brand new nursing mom's room at CityView that I won't get to use to feed my precious girl. The waves of emotions have definitely caught us off guard at times, unexpectedly capturing our thoughts and reminding us of what we are missing. However, I am learning much more deeply the truth of Ecclesiastes 3:4- there is "a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;" I am realizing that sometimes weeping and laughter and mourning and dancing are far more intricately woven together than I had originally understood. God lovingly allows our emotions to vary greatly even in a short amount of time which is good. There is such a tension between grieving that I cannot hold and snuggle with Charlotte to rejoicing that she is pain free and in the presence of our King! I miss Charlotte but am so thankful for Lizzie and Lainie who I have gotten to hold and watch grow. In the midst of tears, Lainie has made me laugh uncontrollably many times. This mixture of emotions is God-ordained and to His glory!

Healing is a process, and even after "recovering," scars will still remain as reminders of where we have been and the journey we have traveled. Again, thank you for joining us on this journey. The texts, cards, emails, hugs, and sweet words have all been incredible tools of our good God to encourage us along the way and to point us back to Him. It is nice to know that even a month later, you have not forgotten. While grieving publicly is not always easy, we are thankful for the incredible support so many have shown and pray that God is somehow using our trials to sharpen your walk with Him.

A HUGE thanks to those of you who made donations to CityView in memory of Charlotte! Currently, over $4,000 has been given in her honor, and we are excited to see how God uses this generosity to impact the lives of children!

We will likely continue to post a monthly update on our grieving process and what God is doing in us. Other than that, there will probably be sporadic posts on Truths He is teaching us through Charlotte's life and death as well as the normal updates on life moving forward for our family.

With each monthly post, I will post one of the precious pictures our friend Cassie took at Charlotte's memorial service. Cassie blessed us greatly by volunteering to take pics for us!