So, lately I feel like God has been speaking clearly to our family, “It doesn’t have to be this way!” I by nature am a “go get ‘em” type of person; when I do something, I want it done well and will do whatever it take to attain the best possible result. This in and of itself is not a bad thing. However, there are also sinful tendencies that accompany this personality, such as taking on way to many responsibilities, acting as though no one else can do a job as well as you, and ultimately laboring in your own strength and failing to depend upon the King, which all lead to a very tired and weary woman. YIKES! So, I know this about myself, but unfortunately, it most recently reared its ugly head in the midst of the craziest season of life yet. Satan knows what He is doing, and he struck when I was least prepared. Somehow, upon having a new baby, Justin beginning a new job, getting ready to move into a new house, and CityView going through a growth spurt, I have been lacking in my time with my Lord. I listened to the lie that, “When your girls get a little older, once Justin settles into his job, after you get moved, and when CityView stuff calms down, it will be easier.” No! I need my Jesus NOW! More than ever, I need His Truth to guide me, His voice to comfort me, and His strength to sustain me! This doesn’t mean my time in the Word and in prayer are going to look like they did in college when I had unlimited time and limited responsibilities, but it does mean that I have to seek opportunities to be filled by scripture and to interact with God in prayer. One of the biggest things this has meant for me is to turn off the TV, or even better, to not even turn it on! There is some kind of comfort for me in hearing adults talk about adult things when I have been speaking and translating toddler all day! I realized though, that when I thought I didn’t have any spare time, I actually did if I could live without watching the Today show discus the same topics they did yesterday or Jay Leno crack the same joke he did the night before. I also remembered that 3, 4, or 5 am are all excellent times to pray when I am up for a feeding. Elizabeth is a captive audience while sitting in her high chair for breakfast, so why not speak scripture over her and into my own heart as I sit with her? Why not hang scripture to meditate upon and specific ways to pray for Justin in the shower? Creativity is the name of the game here! It is just a matter of reworking my priorities and getting things back into perspective. When I recognize my need for God and depend on Him to carry me through each day, I am able to be a much better wife, mommy, and friend! It is not about me doing more “stuff,” but instead returning to the source for my sustenance and allowing Him to fill me up!
Psalm 127
Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he give to his beloved sleep.
Behold children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
God is sovereign over our home, our security, our provisions and our family. When I am trusting this truth, regardless of circumstances, there is great peace in my soul. Thank you Lord for your Word and the ways you use it to bring us back to you!
5 comments:
First - I LOVE the blog design - I haven't visited your actual blog in a while b/c I get the updates through Google Reader - but it's WAY cute.
Also, thanks for sharing what the Lord's doing in your life. I too have been struggling to "not do everything in my own strength" - and I don't have any kids. I love your creative ideas! Thanks for sharing.
What a great post! I was telling Laura the other day that I'm going to have to watch how much TV I consume now that I have a TV in my room at our new house. I actually told her on our way to church on Sunday morning to make me sit down and read for at least an hour with the TV off that afternoon. Sad! I'm really having to watch my quiet times in the mornings these days. If I'm not extremely intentional about it, it's very easy for them to slip on by. Thanks for the reminder that my security and ability to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord can only come as I abide in Him! I love you!
Angela,
Your words are so sweet, honest and terrifying at the same time. It's amazing to know that HE can use you to speak to others in the same phase of life, allowing you to minister to others without even knowing their plight. Psalm 127 is my new memory scripture-and something I definitely needed to hear.
Thank you, and Thank God for your desire to speak your heart over these e-waves!
Ang,
This was so honest and wonderful. Thanks for sharing. I cannot wait to get to spend time with you this weekend--tonight even!- and just soak up all your amazing-ness!!
Big sis, you are such a blessing to me. You have no idea how much you teach me about being a mom, just from reading your blog! Ha! I loved this post and took so much from it. I would love to chat sometime!
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