Febloguary Day 3 (Lizzie Grace)

 This girl.  I cannot adequately express the delight she is.  God has created her to be mature far beyond her years, compassionate, discerning, kind, generous, a servant, joyful, hopeful, sensitive, smart, tender, a good friend, passionate, a bookworm, and absolutely beautiful.

Over the past couple of years, we have asked a great deal from this seven year old, and in every situation she has responded with grace, as she has trusted us to lead her.  This has been amazing to watch.  Lizzie, more than her sisters, had a deep relationship with Momma.  At the age of two Lizzie was already engaging in intriguing conversations with her Nana; they just "clicked" and both really enjoyed being together.  Therefore, Momma's decline and now absence have impacted Lizzie uniquely.  The love that my sweet girl poured out over her Nana until the very end was phenomenal.  She would sit next to her and just hold her hand and tell her how beautiful she was and tell her stories, and just be with her with absolutely no response, except for an occasional smile that I believe was reserved just for Nana's Lizzie Girl.  Elizabeth Grace loves well.  She is able to lavish love without expectation of receiving anything in return.   I'm learning from her. This is clearly from the Lord, and I stand in awe as I watch Him working in her life.

Lizzie has also proven her trust as we began our homeschool journey.  While all of her friends were thrilled to be starting kindergarten, we dropped the bomb that she would be starting first grade, and at home.  We listened to her desire for community, and we wanted that as well.  Our family has found a great fit for us in Classical Conversations, and Lizzie thrives in this atmosphere.  It is beautiful to see her soaking up knowledge, weekly standing before her peers and giving an oral presentation, growing in her ability to communicate with both her peers as well as those younger and older, applying the information she is learning in various situations such as literature and current events, and all around LOVING to learn!

Reading is Lizzie's passion.  It really doesn't matter what the subject matter is, if it is printed on paper, she devours it.  The past couple of days her selections have included a Boxcar Children, The Little Princess (Mommy, why do they speak English in India? me: Well, England once took over India, and-  oh, right, British Queen Victoria ruled over India.), the Bible, a National Geographic joke book, a book about Austria, the entire Rodeo Program, Tuesdays at the Caste (our freshly completed read aloud that she is now allowed to read solo), an American Girl Mystery, and whatever else was available to her, depending on her location in the house or car.  It is delightful to watch her get sucked into a story.  It is dreadful to pull her out! Books have been taken away at times to remind her of the rest of the world that is spinning around her.  However, the gift of reading with ease and loving every moment is precious.  We do our best to fan the flame of her love for reading.

Lizzie has enjoyed taking dance this year!  Last season she began with ballet and did a super job.  She has now transitioned into jazz and is having a blast with it as well.  She is a hard worker, and it is great to see her applying herself in something that challenges her mind and body.

When we pluck a book from her hand, Lizzie can be found riding her bike, taking care of her goats, experimenting with her Rainbow Loom, taking pictures,drawing and creating, making funny videos with her sisters, and listening to the Frozen soundtrack.  She also is quick to help out with Liv, pitch in where there is a need around the house, and to serve our family as she is able.  It is very rare that you will hear Lizzie complain, as she delights to put others above herself.

 I am blessed to be Lizzie's mommy.  She loves me well.  She trusts me.  She is a gift!

Febloguary Day 2 (Almost 9 years!)

Today is dedicated to the hubs.  Justin Bassett has been my husband for almost 9 years!  We laugh as we look back at pictures from our dating days.  We were so cute, and naive, and unassuming as to what life was going to look like for us.  Things are pretty easy when you are dating on your parents' dime, going to class 13 hours a week is your job, and you are living in College Station, Texas.  Looking back on those days, life has slapped us around quite a bit since then.  Between then and now, we have each lost a grandmother, we have buried Charlotte, said goodbye to Hope in the womb, and I have watched Momma into the arms of Jesus.  We have lived in 4 different homes.  Justin has been employed by several companies and opened his own business.  We have been entrusted with Lizzie, Lainie, and Liv to shepherd well.  God has brought friends in and out of our lives. Whew!  We have experienced loss, been thrown into multiple changes, and been given huge tasks.  It has been painful.  Being us has been hard.  BUT, I cannot adequately define the depths of our relationship that have been formed as a result of the past nine years.  There is no one else I could even imagine walking through life beside.  I am proud to be Justin's wife!

The past three years have been especially interesting, as Justin has followed the Lord in starting NewCoast Media.  It has been an adventure for all of us!  If you could see the amount of work he puts in to make sure that clients get an outstanding product, while also taking excellent care of me, and serving his pretty little ladies in love, it is amazing that he has any opportunity to rest!  Together we have learned how to creatively manage our time and money, as it is very different when you run your own business.  Some days it is really hard!  Justin staying up until 2 am to finish a project, while I have to go to bed, so I can rise and shine with the little loves is not fun.  Waiting on a check to come in the mail that we need to pay all of our months' bills can be stressful.  The fact that no matter where we think we are getting away to, someone's site always seems to go down when we are away causes those peaceful getaways to become stressful.  However, having Daddy home to eat breakfast with us and do scripture memory each morning is a gift.  Daddy's ability to take the girls on a field trip impromptu is a gift.  Our ability to take a family trip in the middle of October is fantastic!  

There have been multiple career opportunities presented to Justin in the past year, but in the end, God has given us both the confidence that all the perks and the promise of a steady paycheck are not what he has for our family.  Justin really enjoys what he is doing and has a vision for how his company and our family can continue to make an impact for the Kingdom of God.  We are open to whatever God has for us, and we continue to seek His face for what the future holds for our family.  

All of our highs and lows together have given us opportunities to seek the Lord and proclaim His goodness.  This morning during family worship, Justin led us in the song God is Able.  Its lyrics really are our heart.  Because of the last nine years, we more fervently choose to cry out to God for every need and fully trust Him to fulfill them, as we have seen Him as faithful.  Our family's desire is that all those with whom we interact would witness our great God through us!  Justin leads Team Bassett well on our mission to know God and make Him known!

Febloguary Day 1 (How are you?)

This picture was taken New Year's Eve in my bathroom.  A kind friend had brought me a lovely jar of honey lavender bath salts a few days after Momma passed away.  They smelled divine, and I enjoyed a couple of much needed baths with them before my sweet Liv dropped the jar on the tile, which caused the top and bottom of the jar to break off simultaneously, resulting in this mess.  No one was severely hurt, and bath time was moved to the other bathroom.  Before I could sweep up the debris though, I sat for a good while enjoying the incredible aroma that filled the room.  It was such an unmistakable picture of 2013 for my family.  There had been so much mayhem and brokenness, yet in those very same places was the sweet aroma of Christ carrying us, molding us into His likeness, blessing us with His peace.  I couldn't have asked for a clearer picture from the Lord to describe 2013.

I have taken an extreme hiatus from the Blog.  Life has been happening at an elevated pace for our family, and to sit down and write about it has just been daunting.  However, writing is a joy for me, an outlet, and an opportunity to share the goodness of my generous God, so I am setting aside writing time for myself each day in February and hope to get 20 blogs out this month.  What? Not a single post in 11 months and now this drastic goal?  Yes!  I can tell you that I have it all in my head, and there is PLENTY to write about.  I will take 30 minutes each afternoon to write as well as 30 minutes in the evenings.  Some posts may take longer than others, and I may take a day or two off, so 20 sounds really doable for me, but I will have grace for myself if this lofty goal isn't realized.  It is my hope to have a written record for my family of life over the past year as well as an account of the generosity and graciousness of God throughout our days.

I decided to begin with the question that has been proposed to me most often lately, "How are you?"  That is a great inquiry.  I have a canned 30 second response for some situations, about a 2 minute version for some cases, and a few friends have gotten the depths of my soul.  Here I will give you the deep, laid bare and open truth.

I am honestly doing well.  Obviously some days are better than others, but all in all I am moving through each day without collapsing into a heap of "woe is me".  The loss of Momma has been occurring for the past several years, so I have been grieving as well.  This was not really the first Christmas "without Momma", nor will this month be my first birthday "without her".  In many ways, the past four years of decline in Momma's ability to be the woman I knew her to be have been a grace.  I have grieved deeply not having my annual birthday shopping trip, my girls not knowing their Nana fully, not having pigs in the blanket and Mimosas around the dining room table to celebrate Christmas, not having an apple and orange in the bottom of my stocking, not stopping for happy hour together for cherry lime slushes, her phone number not being in my favorites list, not snuggling up together to watch my girls play and hear how much they remind her of me, not having her pop in and fold my laundry just for fun, not hearing crazy stories of her growing up days, not getting to make fun of her often comical miscues like the "3 week candle", not hearing her encourage me in the Truth she just read, not watching her hold Daddy's hand at the dinner table, not hearing "I love you babe" at the end of the other line, not feeling the embrace of her strong hugs, not having my Momma to come help when I am sick, not seeing her handwriting in notes of encouragement for me or my girls, not, not, not... These things and many more have been grieved, meaning I have cried out to the Lord in my disappointment and laid them at the feet of Jesus.  It has been painful.  Tears have flowed freely at random times.  The grief has taken my breath away on occasion.  BUT, as promised, Jesus has met me in the middle of my kitchen, in the shower, lying in bed, at the mailbox, on the floor of the closet, in the rocking chair, in the car, sitting at the school table, and everywhere in between.

The song I have sung over Olivia every night since I can remember is "Great is Thy Faithfulness".  The lyrics are water to my soul and such a needed reminder of God's nearness and compassion toward me.  This song is deeper in my soul than ever before. I have rested in these words of Lamentations 3:22-23 "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "  They are true.  He is trustworthy.

The idea of resting well is typically lost on me.  I frequently plunge ahead FULL force and end up hitting a wall of exhaustion somewhere down the road.  Then, I decide I should rest, but I don't really know how to do that well, so it quickly spirals into laziness.  However, over the past month, I feel like I have a better understanding of this chasm.  Some sweet friends offered meals for the first couple of weeks of January, and I accepted.  No, things were not in the tornado of chaos that they were prior to Christmas, and I was tempted to say, "No, we are ok," but I thankfully chose to accept the offer.  This was so helpful!  In many ways, it allowed my mind to rest and to just focus on loving my family.  It was sweet to sit and play with Liv or watch another Frozen dance performance by Lizzie and Lainie, or snuggle and watch a show WITH the girls rather than rushing around trying to get dinner together.  Truth be told, some nights I didn't remember that was a responsibility of mine until shortly before the moment little people began to voice their hunger pains.  My mind was just a mess.  Grief is strange like that.  You think of it as a specific action, when actually it is an all encompassing haze that hovers and messes with every part of you.  Those couple of weeks gave me the time I needed to really rest well and be served by sweet friends.  I accepted their generosity, and God used it to heal some areas and shed light on others and overall to grant me the clarity I needed.    I am not completely back with it, but I am in a good place and feeling more like me!

In my brokenness I am breathing deeply and experiencing more of Jesus.  I can't imagine a better crew to have walking this journey alongside me.  We are a beautiful mess, friends, and for that I am thankful.    

Preparing for Holy Week

Last year, as Holy Week approached, I realized that I needed a visual for the events of the week.  I sat down with Justin's ESV Study Bible and Google and got busy documenting what the week leading up to the cross and the empty tomb entailed.  During Holy Week we discussed and read about the events of the day and often illustrated or did an activity that corresponded with the day.  I recently posted a pic of my very simple construction paper (maybe someday I will have the time to be fancy!) journey to Easter on Facebook and received a few requests for the content.  I took a little time and typed everything out, including references, to share, in case this would be helpful in pointing your family to Jesus as you anticipate Easter.  Please keep in mind that I am NOT at Bible scholar, my list is not exhaustive, and many of the events are estimated days that could have taken place slightly earlier or later than noted.  Also feel free to correct me if you find a blatant error on my part!
It is my prayer that we will all know Christ and the power of His resurrection more this season!

Holy Week Events:

Palm Sunday:

-Jesus’s Triumphal Entry into Jerusalem (Matt. 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19: 28-40, John 12:12-19)

-Jesus weeps over the city of Jerusalem. (Luke 19:41-44)

Monday:

-Jesus clears the temple. (Matt. 21:12-16, Mark 11:15-18, Luke 19:45-48)

-Jesus curses the fig  tree. (Matt. 18-19, Mark 11:12-14)

Tuesday:

-Disciples see the withered fig tree on the return to Jerusalem. (Matt. 21:20-22, Mark 11:20-21)

-Jesus’s authority is questioned by the Sanhedrin. (Matt. 21:23-27, Mark 11:27-33, Luke 20:1-8)

-Jesus teaches in parables. (Matt. 21:28-22:14, 25:1-30,  Mark 12:1-12, Luke 20:9-18)

-Jesus teaches on the Mt. of Olives. (Matt. 24:1-25:46, Mark 12:1-37, Luke 21:5-36)

-Judas agrees to betray Jesus (Matt. 26:14-16, Mark 14:10-11)

Wednesday:

-Plot to kill Jesus (Matt. 26:3-5, Mark 14:1-2, Luke 22:1-2)

-Jesus continues to teach in the temple (Luke 21:37-38)

-Preparations for the Passover (Matt. 26:17-19, Mark 14:12-16, Luke 22:7-13)

Thursday:

-Last Supper (Passover) with Jesus and his disciples (Matt. 26:20-35, Mark 14:43-52, Luke 22:14-30)

-Jesus washes his disciples’ feet (see above)

-Jesus speaks to his disciples about what is to come (John 13:1-17:26)

-Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matt. 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, Luke 22:39-46)

Friday:

-Betrayal and arrest of Jesus (Matt. 26:47-56, Mark 14:43-52, Luke 22:47-53, John 18:2-12)

-Jesus tried by Jewish and Roman authorities (Matt. 26:57-27:14, Mark 14:32-15:15, Luke 22:54-23:12, John 18:13-24

-Jesus is flogged and mocked (see above)

-The crowd rejects Jesus (see above)

-Jesus is crucified –approx 9am-3pm (Matt. 27:27-54, Mark 15:6-15, Luke 23:13-25, John 18:28-19:16)

-Jesus is buried (Matt. 27:57-61, Mark 15:42-47, Luke 23:50-54, John 19:38-42)

Saturday:

(Blank page, because no recorded events occurred)

EASTER Sunday:

-Jesus is ALIVE! He beat sin and death! 

-Empty Tomb Witnesses (Matt. 28:1-8, Mark 16:1-8, Luke 24:1-12)

-Resurrection Appearances (Matt. 28:9-20, Mark 16:9-20, Luke 24:13-53, John 20:1-21:25)

Celebrating Charlotte Jane- 3 Years

Three years ago today, at daybreak, I sat in Cracker Barrel eating the nastiest muffin I've ever tasted.  I mean, who goes to Cracker Barrel and orders a bran muffin?  The answer is a Momma who has just held her baby girl as she breathed her last labored breath.  I remember staring at the menu, being nauseated, and also knowing that whatever I ate that morning would forever be associated with the death of my baby.  So I did it.  I picked the crappy muffin.  There really were no redeeming qualities about it, it was just awful, like I felt.  Three years later I watched the sun rise from the cemetery while enjoying the most amazing heart shaped sprinkle donut!  In case you don't know this, I am a donut connoisseur, and this donut was happiness in every bite!

It just seemed right to eat a sprinkle donut this morning, just as that bran muffin was so appropriate three years ago.  I'm not going to lie and say that there were not tears pouring down my cheeks as I sang out to the Lord "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and "Your Love Never Fails" this morning.  No doubt, my heart ached as I recounted this painful day.  However, my heart also rejoiced in the Hope we have been given and in the glimpses of glory that God has given me through Charlotte Jane.  All that scripture that I had memorized and all that stuff I said I believed about God, I now can claim with unwavering confidence, IT IS TRUE!

This year, more than any year before, I have been compelled to celebrate Charlotte's Seven Days! I got a new frame for my favorite pic of my precious girl that really makes me smile! Precious friends threw a birthday party for sweet girl the Friday before her birthday.

 On her birthday, I insisted on sprinkle donuts for the family (Justin and Lainie went to 4 different shops to make this happen for me!), we picnicked at the cemetery, we released fancy balloons, we had races, we sang, and we also bought a birthday cake, complete with a #3 candle, and we sang "Happy Birthday" to our girl.  It was such a fun day!

During the week, I received so many sweet notes, cards, flowers, phone calls, and texts from friends.  One in particular pointed out how Charlotte's memorial service had guided her family into the church home that God had for them.  This makes me so happy.  I have also had the joy of sharing Charlotte's story with new friends.  As I have shared it, it has done two things: made me really really miss my girl and reminded me of how God has met me every step of the way in the struggle.  A precious friend sent me a card this week with these words:

I really am stronger than I could have ever imagined.  Why?  Because through Charlotte's life and death, I have learned how incredibly weak I really am, and I have finally leaned into the abundant strength of my God.

The nearness of Jesus has been like a heavy warm blanket to still my anxious heart and allow me to really rest.

And WOW!  The love that God has poured out on me through sweet friends has been nothing short of incredible.  They have not forgotten.  They have walked this road shoulder to shoulder with me, only letting me go alone when there was a narrow opening that I must face by myself, and even then, they were there to greet me on the other side and to continue the journey as a visible reminder that Jesus never leaves my side, and He alone brings true freedom.

The thing that has brought me the most sadness this week is that Liv will never know Charlotte.  Lizzie and Lainie are best buddies who drive each other bananas.  They are 20ish months apart, just like Charlotte and Olivia would be.  I want to know firsthand what kind of insanity would be going on in my house with FOUR sweet girls.  I want to see them ALL together in the backseat, at the breakfast table, reading books, having a picnic, dog piling their Daddy, and having their nails painted.  This is not my reality.  I am thankful I have allowed myself to really go to this place though.  I somehow thought that I was acting entitled if I longed for this to be true.  Instead, God has shown me how to bring these longings before Him, to let Him hold me as I cry, and to see Him more than satisfy the desires of my heart in Him.

Thank you Jesus for Charlotte Jane.  Thank you that you have turned my mourning into dancing and my bran muffin into a sprinkle donut!  Welcome Home Charlotte Jane, Welcome Home!