The Bassett Family

He Has Carried Them...

2012-02-18T00:47:00.001-06:00

These girls amaze me!

Thankful for this amazing man who leads our family well!

We took CJ a pinwheel today.

Lovie Bear and Charlie's "sissy kisses" lovie got to got to the cemetery too.

It is such a privilege to be the mommy of ALL of my girls!

(yes, I know...Liv needs some neck strengthening before wearing a bow of this magnitude:)

Two years ago, my biggest fear was for Lizzie and Lainie. I knew that Justin and I would be ok. We were hurting, but we knew God would carry us. We could embrace Truth. My girls, however, were 3and a half and 20 months, how could they possibly understand?

I still remember sitting at the doughnut shop and telling Lizzie that Charlotte would not be coming home to our house. Lizzie, with tears in her eyes said, "Never?!" I lost it. With Lizzie in my lap, she and I both wept. Our hearts ached together for the baby that we longed for! Lainie then proceeded to pick up her entire sprinkle doughnut with her teeth and get a good laugh out of us all. Whew, just what we needed! Tears accompanied by laughter.

This spectrum of emotions has been felt in our home over the past two years. Just as God has tenderly carried Justin and me, he has carried my girls through moments of deep sorrow coupled with moments of refreshing hope. This is an area where I have had to let go. I want to be in control of Elizabeth and Elaine's hearts, but I'm not. Only God works on hearts. I want to protect my sweet girls, but I can't. Only God can protect. I want to control my girls' little worlds, but I am unable. Only God is in control! Instead of providing a world where everything is always perfect and we pretend that our hearts don't hurt, my role is to guide my girls in Truth, pray for them, walk in a manner that points them to Jesus, and to entrust them to our faithful God. This is so hard for me, but over the past two years I have seen how near the Father has been to my Lizzie and Lainie. He has proven himself so faithful! He is chasing after their hearts, and I have the privilege of seeing it. Oh I cannot wait for the days when their hearts are captured by His pursuit!

The talk about Heaven in our home is frequent. God is weaving a precious eternal perspective into the fabric of our family. We are learning to hold things very loosely, knowing that this life is NOT the end! We have HOPE!!! Our girls speak about Charlotte and Hope being with Jesus often. Death has lost its sting! Last night we talked about Charlotte's home in Heaven and our future home with Jesus! We sang O Glorious Day and danced and laughed and rejoiced! Lizzie asked how we can be sure this is real, referring to the words of the song. We pointed her to the Bible and God's promises about eternity. I pray that God will write His Word on her heart as Truth that is far better than a fairy tale.

Though the past two years have been painful and never what we would have chosen for our family, our good God has been magnified in the way he has carried Elizabeth Grace and Elaine Karis. I anticipate God using their stories, including Charlotte's life and death, in precious ways to further His Kingdom here on earth. My faith has been strengthened beyond measure because of the manner in which God has tended to the specific needs of my sweet girls. He is true to His promises. He has carried them,

Charlotte Jane, after 2 years

2012-02-10T23:34:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday Charlie Jane! We met our sweet girl 2 years ago tonight, a moment I will never forget. While it was terribly frightening and overwhelming, it also was amazingly peaceful. As a team of doctors worked to save our baby girl, I prayed and the Lord was so near. Justin and I prayed and read Truth. My mom and Taber arrived and waited with us. Our God was there. He granted the peace that He promises. His strength allowed us to breathe.
Two years later, that day is still so fresh. A kiss on my baby girl's forehead. Holding my husband's hand. Embracing my momma and dear friend. There was so much that was unknown that night, but the Holy Spirit granted me a quiet confidence. Our God does not change. He is steady. He is THE Rock.
Today was a sweet celebration of Charlotte's life and the One who spoke her life into being. We had a great time as a family, enjoying a breakfast out. An older man stopped by our table to tell us what a handsome family we have. I smiled, thinking how much more handsome we would be if Charlotte was here. I stopped at Walgreens to pick up pics of Charlie I had printed. The photo tech tenderly asked to hear Charlotte's story. I got to speak about God's faithfulness to this precious woman; Charlotte's impact continues. Dear friends gathered with me for lunch together and some delicious strawberry cake! Lainie and I snuggled and took a nap together (now that hasn't happened in a LONG time!). Lizzie and I read together. Liv and I got some good cuddle time. We picked out balloons and had some nice time at the cemetery singing happy birthday to Charlotte and rejoicing over her life. Our night concluded with Mexican food together as a family.
My heart still hurts, because I miss my little girl. I wonder what she would be like! Calm and reserved like Lizzie or spunky and spirited like Lainie? What would life with four little ladies be like? What kind of birthday party would we have had for her? How would life be different? And the questions just keep going on and on. There are things that I do know though. Charlotte Jane made an incredible impact on this world for the Kingdom of God. Charlie's life was a powerful 7 days of the Lord pouring out his mercies upon His people. Charlotte pointed us to Jesus. Grace upon Grace was granted to us through our daughter, Charlotte Jane. We do not grieve as those who have no hope; no, because of Jesus, we look forward to that unfathomable day when death will be no more and we will experience eternal JOY!
Those quiet encouragements that the Holy Spirit assured me of the night Charlotte was born continue to carry me each day. Our God does not change. He is steady. He is THE Rock. I can stand on this side of two incredibly painful years and testify that these things are true! Thank you Charlie Jane for teaching your momma so much. Oh how we love you precious girl!

Here are some pics from our day together.

Olivia 2 Months (plus a little)

2012-01-21T23:41:00.001-06:00

Olivia Rae brightens each of our days! She is so smiley and generally happy that she just makes life more FUN! If you were just looking at pictures, well, you would scarcely be able to distinguish between Liv and her big sisters. However, I have taken note of a few ways she is unique.
1. Olivia has a sweet angel kiss on the back of her neck.
2. Olivia does NOT like her pacifier and is anxiously trying to get her thumb into her mouth.
3. Olivia likes to be swaddled! (the proof is in her 8 straight hours of sleep last night!)

I have begun keeping Olivia's 3rd cousin, Liam, during the week, and she is quite enthralled by him! Take a look at those cute little Super Babies!

Lizzie and Lainie are INCREDIBLE Big Sisters!

They LOVE Liv soooo much and are always getting her to smile:)

Love this SMILE!

Olivia is 6 Weeks

2011-12-21T17:31:00.001-06:00

Ooops! One month blew right by without an update on our littlest love, so we will do a 6 week post:)

Olivia Rae is such a joy! Overall she is VERY happy and content most of the time. Her arch rival goes by the name of Hiccups and visits way more often than with Lizzie or Lainie, which is interesting, because she had them most often in utero as well. Liv has the eating thing mastered (every 3 hours), and it is obvious by her weight. She was 10lb 6oz and 22.5 inches at 5 weeks, which puts her in the 85th and 95th percentile respectively. As for sleep, we are getting there... She has finally capitulated and accepted sleeping in the pack and play during the night, usually just for 3-4 hour stretches, but just last night she went for 5 hours:) During the day, her naps are often on the go or in the swing or bouncy seat. We are hoping to settle into a better schedule after the first of the year, but for now, I am very thankful for how flexible and laid back Olivia has been!
Olivia LOVES Lizzie and Lainie! Lizzie is the master at getting her to smile:) Both big girls are HUGE helpers, so I rarely have to pick out clothes or throw away diapers. It warms my heart to see them loving on their baby sister!!!
Liv road tripped to Kansas at two weeks and was a champ in the car! She was the star of several Thanksgiving celebrations and has already partied hard for Christmas at multiple functions!

We love you Liv, Livy Lou Who, Livy Rae, Olivia!

Liv's Photo Shoot!

2011-12-20T13:18:00.005-06:00

A huge thanks to Cassie Raney and Sassafras Photography for taking such sweet photos of Olivia Rae! How to choose a favorite?! My bad for not getting them up sooner:) I'm hoping to get an Olivia update posted later today!

Reflections After One Week!

2011-11-14T22:35:00.005-06:00

Olivia was one week old on Monday! She is just precious and such a gift to our family! Lizzie and Lainie adore her and are adjusting really well. With two big sisters, I rarely pick out clothes for her, get a clean diaper or throw out a dirty one; my big girls are rock star helpers! We have also had to establish a few rules... You may not pick Olivia up. You may not put anything on top of her (toys, blankets, or any number of things). You may not get into her bed with her.

Liv weighed 8lbs 3oz at birth and was already back up to her birth weight at 3 days old, so she clearly has the eating thing down! She has gone for 3-4 hour stretches sleeping in her pack and play, but she prefers to be snuggled on mommy's chest for optimal sleep! Olivia has been to WalMart, celebrated Justin's birthday at Rockfish, enjoyed playgroup, made her debut at Lizzie and Lainie's preschool for their Thanksgiving feast, and been to Bible study. Not bad for 10 days of life!

I adore this precious girl, and I would be lying if I said there is not a difference in my response to Olivia Rae because of our experiences with Charlotte Jane. To hear Olivia cry as soon as she was born was overwhelming. The opportunity hold her and nurse her for the first time was beyond incredible, considering as soon as Charlie was born, it required an extensive team just to get her breathing, after which she was whisked away to Cook's. Having Olivia snuggle with Justin and me with very little interruption at the hospital was a gift, as our time with Charlotte was never so private or personal with the plethora of machines and staff she required to sustain her little life. The celebration of bringing home a healthy Olivia to her ecstatic sisters stood in stark contrast to our conversation to tell the girls that Charlotte would never come home to our house. As I feed Liv in the wee hours of the night, I remember the late nights Justin and I spent hovered over Charlie's bed and holding her delicate little fingers. I drove past Cook's and remembered my precious sick little girl on the way to Olivia's well check where she was proclaimed to be in perfect health. It has been such a time of rejoicing and grieving rolled into one. We look forward to the return of Christ where all will be made right, and until then we will walk in the power of the Spirit seeking His glory as He writes our story.

We sing the same songs over Olivia that we sang over Charlotte, believing their truth more deeply than ever before. Our God is Greater! Jesus does intercede on our behalf before the throne of God! Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

Guess Who?!

2011-11-10T10:38:00.006-06:00

Well, all of our girls look like "Bassetts," so see if you can decipher who is who in the baby pics below:)

Waiting for a Promise

2011-11-05T10:46:00.004-05:00

It's November 5th, five days after Olivia Rae's due date and despite every attempt to get her to come out, she is still comfortably nestled in my belly. At the encouragement of my lifelong friend Tressa, a Starbucks gift card from my precious friend Brooke, and my rockstar husband taking my big girls on their Saturday morning date, I decided to share a little of what I am learning about the Character of God and about myself in the waiting.
I'll begin with Olivia's name... On the surface, it means Olive Branch which seems pretty lame if you know our desire for our girls' names' meanings to be rich. However, historically, the Olive Branch has long represented an offering of peace. This is powerful for us. After the past 21months of great tribulation for our family, the idea of peace being granted through our baby girl is a beautiful thing! We know full well that Biblical peace is not the absence of hurt, heartache, or trials, but instead it is the presence of God despite circumstances. We know this intimately, yet we are also hopeful for a season of peaceful rest. Also, looking at the story of Noah, it is the Olive Branch that the dove returns with in its beak signifying God's promise being kept and a fresh start for God's people. We too believe that God is scripting a new chapter for our family with Olivia, one we are anxious to jump into!

Rae, like all of our girls' middle names, means Grace. We are fully aware that each of our children are a precious gift of God's Grace toward us. We have done nothing to deserve our girls, but as a part of God's perfect plan, He has seen fit to allow us the privilege of being their Mommy and Daddy! It is our prayer that Lizzie and Lainie's lives would reflect the grace that is extended toward us through Jesus, and our prayer is the same for Miss Olivia! Use her for your glory Jesus!

As we wait for the arrival of Olivia, our hearts have been stirred toward seeing God's love for our family and my tendency to waver in my faith.

I want Olivia OUT! I want to hold her. I want to snuggle with her. I want to SEE her. For the past 40+ weeks I have had no choice but to walk in faith, trusting our Creator God to knit our sweet girl together. Yesterday I reached my breaking point. Tears flowed, and I confessed that I am not strong enough for any more waiting! As my dear friend Joy has been telling me all along in this pregnancy, "God is after my heart here," and yesterday, He got through. He ALONE is my Rock. Without Him, I am helpless. His desire for His glory in Olivia's birth story far outweighs my pathetic attempts to hold it together and make things happen on my terms. Oh, I am so thankful that our sweet girl hasn't come yet. I needed this meltdown to point me to His promises. His way is BEST. He LOVES our family. He has GOOD plans for Olivia. HE IS IN CHARGE!

Not only do I want Olivia out, but I want to have her naturally without drugs. My doctor, whom I love and trust, has me scheduled to induce on Monday. Do you see my fears rising? We are talking less that 48 hours (thankful for a bonus hour tonight:), before Liv's eviction notice arrives! I tried to call and cancel yesterday, but my doc had already left the office, so unless Justin and I feel extremely convicted between now and then or she comes on her own, a Monday induction it is! This too is an area where I have had to LET GO! God has Olivia's birth story written, and it is beautiful! It is perfect!

Thank you precious friends for fighting so well for JOY for our family in this pregnancy. Thank you for continuing to approach the throne of grace on our behalf and for loving us so well. You are a gift!

Finally, I love Justin Bassett so much more today than I did before! He has been amazing through this whole pregnancy. He has taken such good care of me and pointed me to Jesus in the midst of my inability to see clearly. God has given me just what I need in my husband!

We love you Olivia Rae and look forward to seeing God's story for your life unfold. It's going to be GOOD!

Just as Noah waited confidently for the dove to return with the olive branch, we wait confidently for the perfect arrival of Olivia Rae, because we trust in the name of the LORD our God who is faithful to keep His promises!

Fall Festival

2011-10-30T22:05:00.006-05:00

We had a great night together at the CityView Fall Festival! Here are a few pics to prove it!

Waiting for Olivia!

2011-10-29T23:16:00.000-05:00

So, Olivia has yet to make her appearance, but we have not been bored by any means in the Bassett home!

Here are a few of the things that have been keeping us busy...

Lizzie and Lainie are LOVING their year at Preschool where Lizzie is a Giraffe and Lainie is a Turtle. We are incredibly thankful for such an awesome place for the girls to learn and grow.

Fire Truck Day:

Western Day:

Costume Parade:

Carnival Lalaloopsy

Princess Lalaloopsy

Doesn't get much sweeter than my Lalaloopsy Princess praying before lunch!

As a family we have done some fun things too!

Pumpkin Patch:

Building Olivia's Bear:

We love you already Olivia Rae! We cannot wait to meet you precious girl! Come join the fun of the Bassett Family! We pray for God's perfect timing and a great day of rejoicing as we welcome you into the world:)

Thankful for Hope

2011-05-24T15:35:00.005-05:00

Hope was still in my belly when this pic was taken:)

Had things happened as I had wanted in the past 9 months, I would have baby Hope in my arms today or would be eagerly awaiting her arrival. Instead, I am left with a strange mix of emotions today as I grieve the baby I never got to hold, yet I carry another life in my womb. As someone who believes fervently in the sovereignty of God, I am confident this is God's plan and is His best for our family. However, that doesn't change that I wonder why?, and let my mind wander to the what ifs.

I got to share our story about Charlotte and Hope with a new friend yesterday, and I was reminded of God's "Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love." (from the Jesus Storybook Bible) Throughout the incredibly overwhelming and, at times, unbearable past 15 months, we have come to know our God's love like never before. He has never ceased to be our comfort and our protection and our provider. So today as I rock between the waves of emotions, I can cling to truth to anchor me! God has allowed our suffering and tears for His glory and our good. We are his children, as are Charlotte and Hope; therefore every moment they were in my womb and every breath breathed were at His command and because of His great love for them and for our family.

Thank you Lord for Baby Hope and how much you have taught our family in her absence. I trust You and believe that the 10 weeks she was in my womb were your perfect plan. I am thankful for the HOPE we have in You that never changes thanks to Jesus. I cling to you Jesus!

^{Hebrews 6:19-20}

¹⁹We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, ²⁰where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.

Elizabeth the Duck

2011-05-16T21:29:00.009-05:00

Elizabeth's Last Day as a Duck!

Oh my! I could go on and on and on about how wonderful Elizabeth's preschool experience was this year! We were incredibly blessed to have Ms. Shanna and Ms. Christi as her precious teachers! They loved her so well and took such good care of my big girl, continually pointing her to Jesus:)

I know they don't keep track of such things, but Elizabeth did have perfect attendance in her first year of preschool. We managed to dodge most of the bugs and her one illness occurred over a weekend, so no school was missed:) Elizabeth, as she chose to be called rather than Lizzie, thrived and was stretched in her new atmosphere. I saw some shyness emerge that I didn't know was there, and her fear of the unknown and fear of failure was evident in a few circumstances like riding a horse on western day, the mass pandemonium of the Easter egg hunt, and new games like egg on a spoon relays. Overall though, I saw my sweet girl being a really great friend to everyone in her class, including others when they seemed left out, responding well to authority, being helpful to anyone in need, absorbing new information, and growing into such an awesome 4 1/2 year old! You are beautiful inside and out Elizabeth Grace Bassett, and we love your more than words can say!

Here are a few of my favorite pics from the year...

First Day as a Duck!

Lizzie and Addie before going their separate ways Penguins & Ducks!

Loving Ms. Christi and Ms. Shanna already!

Western Day! Look at that precious cowgirl!

Sweet duckettes!

I love that smile!

After much encouragement... she DID IT!!!

My Butterfly Fairy Princess was a hit!

Jackpot!!!

Thanksgiving Feast:)

Celebrate! Celebrate! Jesus is Born!

The whole fam came to watch our little gospel singer!

Check out that Gingerbread girl!

Happy Book Exchange!

Super Hero Day~ Meet Love Girl!

Solving the worlds problems with rainbows and love... Oh to be 4!

Love these sweet Duck heroes!

After a squirt of whipped cream straight in the mouth!

My 2 sweethearts!

Happy Easter!

Found one!

Caroline, we love you so!

Elizabeth Hearts Ms. Christi!

Elizabeth Hearts Ms. Shanna!

Lainie LOVED being at school for all of the Duck fun!

The BEST performance of the night at the spring program! Waves of Mercy like you've never seen before! These were their final poses:)

What an awesome book of her hard work all year long! Pretty much a hand print, fingerprint or footprint to represent every letter of the alphabet!!!

Thank you sooooooo much Ms. Christi and Ms. Shanna! Y'all are the BEST!!!

Caroline + Elizabeth = Best Duck Buddies for Life!

Playing Catch Up- February

2011-05-04T22:12:00.011-05:00

Whew- I have a lot of catching up to do, so I will begin with February!

February was a crazy month characterized by snow, snow, snow around here! We were home bound for several days and made the most of it! Here are pics to prove our fun:)

We celebrated our Charlotte Jane...

Valentine's Day!

My 28th birthday:)

Fighting for JOY!

2011-04-28T22:21:00.007-05:00

We are riding a roller coaster of emotions here in the Bassett home these days. The excitement of a growing life inside of me is overwhelming, yet the fear of the unknown and the painful memories of my last two pregnancies haunt me. It is a challenging tension to walk. I am incredibly thankful that every single aspect of my pregnancy is causing us to seek after the Lord, to acknowledge His sovereign involvement, and to respond in thankfulness for each moment this baby thrives within me. We have struggled to find joy when so many other emotions are more natural. However, we have been surrounded by a precious community who have fought with us for the JOY that should come with the blessing of a new life! We have proceeded in HOPE rather than fear. We have walked in FAITH knowing that the Creator of LIFE is at work in my womb. I cannot lie, this has been and will continue to be incredibly hard. This baby cannot replace Charlotte or Hope, but there is something healing about this process. Thank you for joining us in prayer as we take one day at a time.
I am currently 14 weeks along, and my due date is October 31. The pic above is the night we told Elizabeth and Elaine about our baby after a family ice cream date and walk in Keller Town Center. As the girls understand it, our baby will be born after we go to the Pumpkin Patch:) They are thrilled! Elaine reminds me to eat my protein for our baby, and Lizzie wants to know all about our sweet little munchkin. We have gotten to see our baby 3 times via sonogram and to hear the heart beat, at around 170bpm. My next appointment is May 18th, and then I will have an appointment around the last week in May for a level 2 ultrasound with a prenatal specialist, just for peace of mind for my doctor and for us. And yes, we will find out what we are having!!
Thank you for fighting for JOY with our family!

Two and Three Quarters!

2011-03-29T22:45:00.001-05:00

Yikes! Elaine Karis is way closer to 3 than she is to 2!!!! I adore this girl, and I am in awe of the way God has wired her. She is feisty, yet she loves to cuddle. She is full of adventure, yet the ChicFil A cow terrifies her. She is confident, yet she needs reassurance that her ensambles are beautiful. Speaking of, Lainie K is my fashionista! If it sparkles, twirls, or has ruffles, life is GOOD! If she has a purse, a bracelet and a scarf on, there is no turning back! At bedtime, she insists on wearing only nightgowns, and even then she has a hierarchy of what she will wear- Hello Kitty (just has cats on it, but she insists they are Hello Kitty), Minnie Mouse, Candy, Princess, Stars, Dora. If mommy has been really lax on laundry, then we scrounge and occasionally wear a set of footies. As far as bedtime goes, Elaine is a routine girl! We read Bible book together as a family and then she wants to rock to sing and say verses. Her favorite songs these days are the Beauty (Booty) of the Cross, You Never Let Go, Grace Greater, and Hallelujah All I Have is Christ, . God has beautifully crafted her mind to embrace scripture! She can recite 1 John 3:1 (her verse), Ephesians 2:8-10 (Lizzie's verse), Isaiah 9:6, Matthew 5:16, Matthew 5:33, Deuteronomy 6:5, and is working on John 13:34. Recently Elaine has begun to ask what these verses mean. Last night in the middle of Ephesians 2:8-10 she asked, "What does this mean mommy?" After explaining our helplessness without Jesus and God's grace, she said, "oh, like Grace, Grace, God's grace- grace that is greater than all our sin." I love that she is connecting the dots of Truth in song and in scripture! A few nights before, these were Elaine's bedtime questions, -What does God mean? -What about Jesus? -Why did he come here? HELLO! These are the exact questions you would want someone to ask you, so you could share the Gospel! I love that God is pursuing my girl's heart! What an honor and responsibility to answer her with Truth.

Elaine is sleeping in her big girl bed in Lizzie's room and does pretty well, although I have an occasional night time visitor. She sleeps with Lamb Chop who now has a hole in his bottom where she rubbed away the tag, then the fur, and now all that remains is a two inch hole that only Grammy can fix according to Elaine. A few nights ago, she tried to tell us that she is a big girl now and does not need Lamb Chop or her pink Paci. That was short-lived, but the paci is soon headed to Wal Mart for the great exchange. It's time!

Lainie pretty much potty trained herself between September and December. I really didn't do much, other than clean up accidents. This was an area where she said she was ready, so I went with it! She had been wearing pull ups at night until about a couple of months ago when we ran out, and I just put her in panties for bedtime. I think she has had 2 nighttime accidents- not bad my dear!

I think her hair has gotten blonder, and as with everything else, she is very insistent on the way we fix it. A few weeks ago, I realized that it was long enough for two braids, and oh they just look so stinkin' cute on her! Elaine is great company as I get ready in the mornings. She watches every single move I make and loves to imitate me putting on makeup, fixing my hair, etc. Lainie loves to pick out my clothes too, and I must say that her taste is pretty great!

Elaine is incredibly verbal and I love to have conversations with her about her friends, who include, to name a few, Juliet, Jett, Ani, Gillian, Chris, Grayson, Cade, Gavin, Adelia, Asher, and Jane. She loves this crew dearly, and her prayers for them are so sweet. She is one of the oldest in this crew of kids who are all within about 14 months of each other and a blast to watch at play! Lainie still has some phonetic sounds that she struggles with like the hard C sound, so her ever trusty credit card is her "hedit hard," cookies are "hoofies," cranberries are "banberries," questions are "pestions," and and Clifford is "hifford." I know that one day soon I will wake up and she will ask me for her "snaCK and drinK," and I will be sad! Her latest phrase is "I can do it Mommy/Daddy, don't worry about it!" This applies to folding towels, putting away dishes, and cleaning up messes. Since I mentioned messes, I am fairly confident that Elaine loves to clean so much that she often makes a mess, so she has an excuse to clean!! She also has an affinity for Kleenex! The other day, after she blew her nose, I noticed her tossing the tissue behind the entertainment center. When I investigated, I discovered at least 25 other Kleenex which she had kindly "thrown away!"

Elaine is a FABULOUS little mommy! Lulu, Lydia, and Jazzy are all well loved. On our recent long trip to Austin, she fed, snuggled, and talked to Lulu most of the time in the car. Before bed each night, Lulu is tucked into her pack and play with her "favorite" things. When it comes to Elaine's friends, she is the oldest for the most part and LOVES taking care of them and telling them what to do! She also has reports for me each Sunday after "first class" and "second class" about who did what. I love that she looks forward with great JOY to being with all of her little buddies.

Speaking of friends, Lizzie and Lainie have created a family of imaginary friends- Peetie, Poodoo, Podoo, Pula, and Green Bean. They make up stories and jokes about these characters, and their familial roles are uncertain, except for Green Bean who is the indisputable baby. A typical joke goes something like this: Why did the Podoo eat the giraffe (hiraffe)? Because he was hungry (hunfry)! Someone is always eating something, because he/she is hungry:)

Elaine can tell you her whole name, Elaine Karis Bassett and can spell her name ELA-INE (kinda sing songy). Elaine knows that her birthday is May 31st (sounds more like 41st). Her counting is improving, as she can now go from 1-13 and then jumps to 18, 19, 20teen. We have to start practicing the ABCs again, because she now sings A B C D E F G, how I wonder what you are... Impressive to hear the same melody there, but the goal is to know your alphabet, my love! Lainie gets to go to school next year, and she is soooo thrilled! She adores Lizzie's teachers this year and makes little drawings and notes to bring to them at pick up time. I am excited for her to have the school experience:)

A few of Elaine's favorites:

color: pink and purple

book: farm animals

store: Hobby Lobby

drink: Sonic slush, grape juice

breakfast: oatmeal

lunch: peanut butter on a spoon

healthy snack: oranges, cheese, almonds

naughty snack: gummy stuff

dinner: chicken and ketchup

thing to do with Daddy: "baby bundle drop"

thing to do with Mommy: make up and paint nails

thing to do with Lizzie: play ice cream stand (must have credit cards and cash register)

Oh Lainie K, I adore you! It is such a fun job to be your Mommy! Tiring, but a blast! Thanks for making my days brighter and for the many things you are teaching me about Jesus:) I love you more than orange Tic Tacs!

After A Year

2011-02-20T22:27:00.024-06:00

A year ago today we were joined by a multitude of friends and family to celebrate Charlotte Jane Bassett's life. It is a day I will never forget. There were tears. There was pain. There were smiles. There was joy. There was HOPE!
With Elaine in my arms, with Elizabeth and Justin by my side, and many of you surrounding us, we sang out to the Lord. We sang Before the Throne and claimed Christ's intercession on our behalf. We sang Blessed Be Your Name and offered our worship to the Lord despite our broken hearts. We sang O Glorious Day and rejoiced in the miraculous hope we have that one day we will join our girl, Charlie, in the presence of Jesus!

Rick spoke about Charlotte's life, and while I don't remember much of what he said (because I had a super cute Lainie K to capture my attention:), I do remember that he reminded us that we had been chosen to be Charlotte's parents and chosen to share in Christ's sufferings in a very real way. These words, while simple, have spoken volumes to my heart over the past twelve months. In God's providence, He chose to demonstrate His great love and mercy toward us by bringing Charlotte into the world and allowing us to be with her for seven days. What a gift!

Every eye gazed heavenward as we sang Jesus Loves Me and released balloons. CJ's life, much like those balloons was fleeting but caused many eyes to be directed toward and captured by King Jesus. Thank you Charlie!

A year later, the pain is still there. We grieve the fact that we don't have a crazy one year old full of personality to chase around. We grieve the fact that we are a family of four and not a family of five. We grieve the fact that we will not see Charlotte grow up. We grieve that our plans for our family have changed.

A year later, we know Christ so much more deeply. Justin and I are both very aware that God has cultivated great depth in our character and faith through the circumstances of the past year. We are no longer just claiming truths hoping for them to be true. We are proclaiming what we know to be true because we have seen it played out in our part of His story! Jesus is enough!

A year later we have seen so many prayers answered!

In a situation where many couples struggle, our marriage has only become stronger. Justin and I have grieved differently, but we have grieved alongside one another and fought for joy in each others' lives. Thank you JESUS!
Elizabeth and Elaine have thrived!
Elizabeth has such an incredible heart and desire to know God. She has a sincere heart that is filled with compassion. Her love for Charlotte is beautiful. On Valentine's Day, she received a cute frog balloon that said I LOVE YOU on it. She asked me to write "sissy kisses for you" on it and then "sent it up to Charlotte." She is an amazing four year old! Thank you JESUS!
Elaine's zest for life has been a welcome bright spot on many hard days. Elaine has spent the year really trying to understand about Charlotte. After twelve months of her saying "Charlotte is with Jesus!" Elaine finally asked, "How long is Charlotte going to be with Jesus?" I replied by telling her that Charlotte will always be with Jesus, but we have hope that one day when we die or when Jesus comes back, we too will get to go to be with Jesus! She responded, "Oh, like O Glorious Day!!!!!" Yes, my love, like O Glorious Day! I love that she is connecting the songs that we sing to life. At the age of two, Elaine is grasping truths in ways that only the work of the Lord could produce. Thank you JESUS!
God has indeed taken such tender care of my girls' hearts. He has been the Comforter for our Family. Thank you JESUS!

We have been surrounded by the Body of Christ and know what it is to be upheld by those around us in prayer and in truth. We have been taken care of so well and remembered often. We have not journeyed alone. Thank you JESUS!
God has used us to speak truth into the lives of others who are walking in similar circumstances. We have been able to encourage both friends and strangers as we hear of their situations. Our sphere of influence has widened greatly, and we have been able to proclaim the power of the Gospel to those who are in need of healing. Thank you JESUS!
God has transformed countless lives through Charlotte's seven days. Men and women have been brought into deeper relationship with Christ! Hearts of stone have been broken. Our need for Jesus has been made evident. The Lord has been gracious toward us. Thank you JESUS!

On Charlotte's birthday, we celebrated! A few friends who have walked especially closely with us this year as well as Nana and PawPaw and Grammy and Pop joined us at the cemetery to sing Happy Birthday and Jesus Loves Me as we released pink and purple balloons in Charlotte's memory. It was really precious. Afterward we went to dinner and enjoyed pink cupcakes together (a Bassett family tradition to celebrate birthdays!).
The week between the 10th and 17th was such a tension between celebrating and grieving. We received so many phone calls, texts, emails, and cards; I was blown away! Several of my girlfriends took me out for breakfast and encouraged me greatly. Justin and I were able to get away for a date and process a little bit. I recounted sweet moments with my girl and longed for our Heavenly reunion.
On the 17th Justin and I woke up at 5:30am, the time our loss became Charlotte's gain of eternity with Jesus with a transformed and perfected body! Justin prayed, and we were filled with a great peace and gratitude that God has indeed carried us through the hardest year of our lives! Lizzie went to school, and Justin, Lainie and I went to breakfast together; what a treat:) Then, Lainie and I met friends at a beautiful park to play, have lunch and enjoy extra special cupcakes in Charlotte's honor. We enjoyed our time as a family that night and finished out the day reading about Heaven in the Big Picture Storybook Bible and singing O Glorious Day as a family. We are so thankful that we can grieve in honesty and in hope!

Thank you for walking with us. Thank you for serving us in prayer. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Thank you for grieving with us. Thank you for allowing us to share the hope of Christ with you in our suffering.

We love you Charlotte Jane Bassett!
Your tiny footprints have made a huge impact; we will never be the same because of you!
Your life, precious one, worshiped your God and King!

Psalm 145
1 I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
2 Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
3 Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.

4 One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
5 On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
6 They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
and I will declare your greatness.
7 They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

8 The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 The Lord is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.

10 All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord,
and all your saints shall bless you!
11 They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom
and tell of your power,
12 to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds,
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.

13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures throughout all generations.
[The Lord is faithful in all his words
and kind in all his works.]t
14 The Lord upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
16 You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
17 The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
18 The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
20 The Lord preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

What’s in a Name?

2011-02-10T21:29:00.012-06:00

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything on this blog (my wife is an all-star blogger), but I wanted to use this opportunity to celebrate / remember Charlotte Jane’s life and talk about the meaning of her name and the names of our other girls.

As you may know, if you know us well at all, names are a HUGE deal to us. More than just a name sounding cool, we are always conscious of what each of our girls names mean. Modern-day America has completely divorced the concept of choosing a name from that name’s meaning. If you spend anytime in other cultures or study cultures from generations past, you’ll discover what a person’s name means is a HUGE deal. For instance, Angela and I have both spent time in places where Islam is the predominant religion, and one of the first questions asked when getting to know us is “what does your name mean?” Therefore, we’ve always wanted this to play a factor in naming our children. It’s easy to share the gospel simply by explaining the meaning of your name. I wanted to share the story of how each of our girls got their names.

Elizabeth Grace

The name Elizabeth is from Hebrew origin and means “consecrated to God.” The idea here is that our child, our first born, is not ours -- but God has entrusted her to us, and we are therefore stewards of her life and well-being for all of her days. Furthermore, the idea of “consecration” infers that her life is not her own but belongs to Christ. Because of His grace, our hope is that she has been adopted as a daughter of the King and her citizenship is in His Kingdom.

Furthermore, Angela’s mom and sister share the middle name “Elizabeth”. We couldn’t think of a better way to honor each of them.

The name Grace means exactly what it sounds like - an expression of the graciousness of God. Throughout the world in cultures and languages where Christianity is the predominant religion or at least has been at one point, you see the name “grace” being used as a name. Names such as Anne, Jane, Hannah, Anna, Karis or Charis, Kyleigh (no we didn’t know this when we named our dog), Rae, Nancy, Janna, Nina, and probably many more names that I’m leaving out, are from variations of the word grace in several languages.

Since High School, I’ve wanted my first girl’s middle name to be “grace”. Yes, I’m a huge dork that I had these plans this early in life. I understand that. I absolutely love this name and its meaning.

Full meaning: Elizabeth Grace - consecrated to God because of His grace.

_____________________________________________________________________

Elaine Karis

The name Elaine is Greek and means “light” or “sun-ray”. This is my mother’s middle name, so this name was already decided, (unless my mom’s middle name had been Beezus or something). However, we think this accurately describes her and our hopes for her life. She is full of life, and this comes out in so many ways. We know that her life will bring the light of the Gospel to many.

The name Karis is also Greek and is a phonetic spelling of “Charis” which is the Greek word used in the New Testament for the word, “grace” such as in Ephesians 2:8, “by chariti (dative form of charis) you have been saved...” Notice another name that can be added to my list above, “Charity” which is the exact word used in this verse.

Because we liked the concept of Elizabeth’s middle name being Grace, we wanted to copy this and apply it in naming Elaine. At some point, we decided that this would be the naming convention for any girls God blessed us with moving forward.

Full Meaning: Elaine Karis - light bearer because of God's grace.

______________________________________________________________________

Charlotte Jane

The name Charlotte is of German origin, but was popularized in England and means, “freedom”. We picked Charlotte’s name for several reasons:

(1) we liked it, and at the time we chose the name, it was not very popular (although it has shot up the charts in the past year).

(2) Charlotte was one of the characters on LOST, which we both love.

(3) Elizabeth and Elaine both have short versions of their names that they may prefer to use as they get older - “Lizzie” and “Lainie”. We loved the name “Charlie” as a shorter version of Charlotte.

(4) Another really random thing about me is that I wanted to name one our children after a town in Texas (even though that has nothing to do with why my name is Justin). I love Texas and as much as I love the concept of living in Colorado, unless God calls us somewhere else, this is where we will be. I always assumed this would be a boy’s name. However, as we were thinking through naming Charlotte, we realized that Angela’s Aunt and Uncle own a ranch near Charlotte, Texas. This is where I got to know her family, and we’ve spent time there every year since we met.

(5) Most importantly, the meaning of Freedom was so very appealing to us in the naming process. One of the results of God’s grace on our life is Freedom. Many people (as popularized in western philosophy) believe that we have a “free-will” or the ability to choose Christ. In reality, our hearts, our minds, and our souls are completely incapable of choosing Christ. We are spiritually dead. When grace is applied to our lives, we are given true Freedom, and as our heart is regenerated, we have the ability to now choose Christ over idols that we’ve created in our hearts.

The name Jane is of Hebrew origin and also means “grace”, or “God is gracious.” We loved the way “Charlotte Jane” sounded. It fit together perfectly. Interestingly, the Charlotte Jane was a ship that carried the first English emigrants to New Zealand. Much like the story of America, these “pilgrims” were seeking religious freedom in another part of the world. We knew that Charlotte Jane would be a vessel God would use to bring freedom to many lives.

Full meaning: Charlotte Jane - Freedom through the gracious gift of God.

Thanks for hanging in there if you’ve made it to this point. I hope you found this post both informative and entertaining. It’s a unique insight into the reason each of the girls have the name they do.

Finally, in regards to Charlotte Jane, we obviously didn’t see what would lie ahead in choosing her name. As much as it hurts to not have her with us and as many times we’ve grieved her loss, we know that she is now experiencing true FREEDOM that is not found on this side of heaven. Her joy has been made complete, her sin nature is gone, and her lowly body has been transformed to be like his glorious body.

May you take hope that Christ can bring citizenship, light, and freedom through the power of the gospel.

11 in 11 Update (plus some pics)

2011-02-09T21:38:00.012-06:00

We are almost six weeks into 2011, so I thought I would give a little update on how my 11 in 11 challenge is going.

1. Rise and Read- Unfortunately this has not been as easy to get back into the habit of! Elaine has decided to visit our bed several times a night many nights of the week, and it has been tough to get up before the girls. However, I have enjoyed Bible reading injected into many other parts of my day like while blow drying my hair, during the girls' rest time and before bed. While I would still love to be getting up early and preparing for my day by being in the word, I am thankful for the good time I have had to read and pray and meditate as I go through my day.

2. Teaching Domesticity- This has actually been great! My bathroom has stayed clean for the past six weeks, our bed has been made most days, the living room and kitchen have been neater, and overall, order has returned to our days. Sunday morning I timed my bathroom tidying and making my bed; it took 2 minutes total! I realized that I had fallen into a lie that I was too busy to do those things or that something else was more important. CityView was not going to fall apart if I was two minutes later, but my husband would be blessed to come home to a clean room and bathroom.
The girls have taken notice too:) Elaine is a great help at making the bed and knows where everything goes around the house. Elizabeth has a great desire to help where she can and to be on board with my plan.

3. 1 on 1s- Justin had a great time taking Lizzie to get a birthday present for a friend and to the party. He commented on how fun it was to just be the two of them. Lizzie felt extra special too! Lainie and I enjoyed Souper Salad one day while Lizzie was at school. I sought to just ask her questions and let her talk about whatever she wanted to. We talked about her favorite colors (pink and purple), her friends, and the songs she loves (Oh No You Never Let Go and Grace Greater). We had a good time just chatting.

4. Project Restoration- Justin completed our bedside tables with new hardware and a dark stain. They look great and pull our bedroom together! I have all of the materials for the entry way bench. My assistant (My MIL) was unable to come over last week because of the weather, so hopefully we can get it done next week.

5. World Focus- This has been awesome! So far we have prayed for North Korea, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Maldives, and Yemen. My research has been eye opening for myself and for the girls.
This has been something that I have been able to share with our CityKids ministry at church, and the kids there have also connected with it. I may start posting my weekly country profile on here if anyone would like to join us.

6. Project Organization- I mentioned it earlier, but my bathroom is pretty awesome these days. The organization there has made it so much more pleasant! In the living room Kyleigh's toys got a basket as did our books and remotes. This just declutters things and makes me happy! There are still some closets that need a good clean out, but I am feeling good about progress in this area.

7. Redemption- Oh my goodness! I cannot tell you how fantastic this study has been. I really wish EVERYONE had the opportunity to walk through this material with a godly group of men or women. God is opening my eyes to my sin and growing in me a heart that grieves my sin and has a greater view of Christ and the Cross.

8. Take Care of Me- So far so good here! Face creams have been applied most mornings and nights, makeup has been put on in my clean bathroom rather than in my car on most days, I have spent some time just being rather than always rushing from one activity to another, and I am hoping to cash in on one of my massages next week:)

9. Helpmate- Hmmm, I guess I should let Justin update this category:) There has definitely been a season of learning what it looks like for him to be working from home, but I think we are figuring it out. He has knocked it out of the park with NewCoast Media, and I am so proud of him! I hope I have been an encouragement to him a helper.

10. Spontaneous Fun- I would say we have had a lot of fun lately! Probably our most spontaneous adventure was taking the TRE train from NRH to downtown Ft Worth for dinner, Barnes and Noble and Subway cookies. The girls LOVED the experience!!!!

11. Follow Through- I have enjoyed the challenge and appreciated the accountability of those of you who have asked me how things are going. By no means have I been perfect in my endeavors, but I have grown and been stretched in some much needed ways!

Back Up... Christmas!!

2011-02-03T21:29:00.015-06:00

Yes, here are our pics from the Christmas season. I will go back and do captions sometime soon, but for now, I am pleased to have this slew of pictures up! Justin and I love our girls, and we had a really fun time together this season.

Our celebration of Christmas spanned over several weeks- Jesus is worth the celebrating!!! Here are lots of photos to capture our fun:)

After 11 Months

2011-02-01T22:35:00.004-06:00

This post is over due for sure! Our sweet Charlotte would be over 11 months old, and oh how we miss her dearly!

The past month has been monumental for Justin and me. On the 17th, which marked 11 months since we held our girl as she went to be with Jesus, a precious friend of mine gave birth to her baby girl at 25 weeks, a 1lb 12oz micro preemie.

In an instant, a place we had tried to forget (the NICU), a vocabulary that had been long since pushed to the farthest parts of my brain, and that awful feeling of helplessness all returned to our life. As we have walked with our friends over the past couple of weeks, it has been painful. As we have walked with our friends over the past couple of weeks it has been redeeming. As we have walked with our friends over the past couple of weeks it has been a blessing. We have been able to relate to the roller coaster of unknowns, fears, rejoicing over little victories, heartbreak, and thankfulness for each breath taken, and it is good to be able to honestly say, "I understand." While it has been painstakingly hard, this time has also been a precious glimpse into how God is using our story for His glory. We are not entitled to see how the Lord is working, but in His mercy, He has allowed us this peek into His plan.

We still can't wrap our finite minds around His infinite purposes and perfect ways, and we wish our CJ was here. This month, our conversations of wondering what Charlotte would be like have increased. As I watch my friends' babies who are around the same age as Charlie would be, I can't help but ponder how her personality would be developing, who she would look like, and how glorious it would be to have her here. I so miss my Charlotte Jane.

We covet your prayers as the coming weeks will certainly be challenging for our family. Our hope is to celebrate well and grieve well in these days. Jesus, be magnified in our response to you. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your story and thank your for carrying us through it.

(The picture is one of my favorites. It was the day I felt most like Charlotte's mommy. I got to wash her hair:) This was such a joy for me, and I am so thankful to Liz, her nurse, who knew how much this would mean to me. Thank you Charlotte for teaching me to rejoice in the little things!)

11 in 11 (plus pics from our photo session)

2011-01-02T17:20:00.012-06:00

Most of you know that 2010 was to say the least a challenging year for our family. If things like getting gray hair, wrinkles showing up on your face, gaining weight, your house being out of order, priorities getting out of whack, and just treading water to survive your days characterize stress, our family would be the poster children this past year! We are turning the corner in 2011 though and have several ways that we want things to be different. We hope to restore order and purpose within our family in 2011 and I have a few things that we are committing to this year. Will we achieve them all 100%, likely no. However, we are striving toward these things.
Feel free to ask at any time how these ambitions are going. I welcome the accountability!

1. Rise and Read- My Bible reading this past year has been hit or miss. I have heavily relied upon the scripture fed to me from those around me. I am so grateful for the precious friends who have upheld me in this season, but it's time for early morning Bible reading to return to being a part of my schedule. Reading God's word on my own positively impacts so much of my day; I am excited for this routine to be restored.

2. Teaching Domesticity- It is my hope to raise godly women in Elizabeth and Elaine, and part of that is to teach them how to take care of a home. Many of the everyday chores around our house have been pushed aside in the past months, and I feel like I have been a poor teacher of housekeeping for my girls. Not only do I hope to restore a clean and organized home, but to bring my girls along with me and teach them skills that will hopefully assist them as wives and mothers one day.

3. 1 on 1s- We are excited to have special monthly one on one nights where Justin will take Elizabeth and I will take Elaine and then flip flop the following month. As our girls get older, I am realizing more and more how important one on one time is for them. I see many families where parents attempt to have serious conversations with their kids when they are older and it fails miserably, because one on one time when the kids are young isn't a priority. It is my hope that by beginning this tradition when the girls are young we will not only create some great memories but will also prevent the awkwardness of one on ones when they are older.

4. Project Restoration- We have a great deal of furniture in our home that has been given to us. It has been a huge blessing and very functional, but I am excited to redo several pieces with Justin and my mother in law's assistance. Justin has already begun by staining our bedside tables to match our bedroom furniture. I hope to transform an old coffee table into a bench for our entry way that will house baskets beneath it for storage. The kitchen table, a storage unit for games, a trunk for blankets, and living room end tables are all in the mix as well! I'm looking forward to learning lots in this process.

5. World Focus- While reading John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life, I was made aware of how little our world has become. This is especially true for my girls; as far as they are concerned, the world is CityView Church, Butterfly Way, Southlake Christian Preschool, Kaufman, and South Fort Worth. I hope to expand all of our horizons by praying weekly for a country where persecution is high and the spread of the Gospel is limited. I am really looking forward to this addition to our lives and hope to learn about each country along the way as well!

6. Project Organization- Justin and I have never been the most organized people, but the past 12 months have just amplified that in our home. Our house, while small, actually has awesome storage space. However, we need some serious reorganization to best utilize our space. From the garage to the linen closet to the bathroom cabinets, the time has some to conquer these messes. I have visions of labeled baskets and tidy shelves.

7. Redemption- I cannot tell you how much I have anticipated going through Redemption at CityView! If you don't know what it is, Redemption is a gospel centered walk through the Exodus to identify sin and strongholds in your life and to understand and apply the redemption available through Jesus. Justin went through the material with the pastors about a year ago, and now I am excited about getting my turn to walk through it with a group of CityView ladies.

8. Take Care of Me- I am really bad at this one! When I am overwhelmed with my own circumstances, I turn to busying myself with taking care of those around me, throwing myself into ministry, and typically neglecting me. I would have said a year ago that these behaviors were me being selfless and just doing what I love to do. While I do really enjoy serving, busyness is my coping mechanism. This year, I hope to take the time to get the THREE massages for which I have gift certificates and have never taken advantage of, use my face creams, put my makeup on before I leave the house (not at stop lights!), use the girls' rest time to sew, craft, or do something else fun. I know that these things make me a better mommy and honor Justin.

9. Helpmate- While in survival mode, I haven't been the best helpmate. I have been trying so hard to stay afloat that looking for ways to go above and beyond to love, encourage, and esteem my husband has been on the back burner. I love and respect Justin so very much, and I am proud of his new endeavor with NewCoast Media. It is my deep desire to be the best possible helpmate for him in the coming year!

10. Spontaneous Fun- Watching Lizzie and Lainie laugh and have fun has been a breath of fresh air for us in 2010. Exhaustion and preoccupied minds prevented Justin and me from joining in or initiating most of these events. I am hoping for lots more crazy fun and silly moments in 2011 where the girls remember Mommy and Daddy having fun right alongside them! (We started off with a bang tonight with a dance party to the Footloose Pandora station!)

11. Follow Through- I am the queen of good intentions! I have so many spectacular ideas that flow through my mind in a day; I hope that I can be intentional with my words and deeds this year and follow through on those that most magnify Jesus and edify those around me. This list of hopes goes out the window if there is any way to better point to Jesus! Holy Spirit lead me!

Enjoy the Pics!!

THANK YOU Shari Henson for taking these awesome pics of our family! As you can tell, Lizzie LOVED the camera while Lainie wasn't quite sure, but we had a great time together. Shari ROCKS!!!

After 10 Months

2010-12-30T22:55:00.004-06:00

Charlotte Jane would have been ten months old had she been here to celebrate Christmas with our family this year; instead she celebrated face to face with Jesus! Oh we missed our girl terribly, but there was a sweet peace and great comfort for our family this season. Thank you for the many reminders that you were praying for us this month, as it was especially tough.

The moments that I suspected to be hard actually weren't compared to the little things that hit me unexpectedly and brought forth very raw emotional responses. As our family of four stood in the front row at CityView on Christmas Eve singing about our newborn King, I lost it. I didn't want it to just be the four of us. I wanted Charlotte on my hip cooing to Jesus the way 10 month olds do. However, I sang without her in my arms but with great Hope within that because of our Savior's birth, singing Christmas carols with the Body of Christ is but a reflection of eternity! O Glorious Day!

At the cemetery this month it was an absolutely gorgeous day! Justin and the girls couldn't help themselves and had to have races in the sunshine. Although this is probably not proper etiquette, I think it honored Charlotte's life. The freedom in their laughter and the joy in their footsteps was just what this momma needed. Again the theme of Hope has been carried out through Elizabeth and Elaine. If you could hear the songs that Elizabeth makes up, they are precious and always about how good and everlasting and trustworthy our God is. Lizzie sweetly was counting members of our family recently and told me that I am the mommy of four children. She named off herself, Elaine, Charlotte and Hope. I am glad we haven't tried to hide anything from Elizabeth, God is pursuing her four year old heart. Elaine, my love, is constantly pointing out pictures of Charlotte and bringing to mind her things; she is always quick to say, "and Charlotte is with Jesus." I am glad we haven't hidden anything from Elaine; God is pursuing her two year old heart.

December has been hard. 2010 has been hard. I have grieved a lot this month especially over the emptiness I have without Charlotte. More than that though, I have grieved over the brokenness of this world. I have been face to face this year with trials of my own, struggles of friends, and challenges of family members. I want so badly to put a bookend on 2010 and say, "I'm DONE with you! Bring me the ease of 2011!" However, I know all too well that is not the life to which I or any other follower of Jesus has been called. I am thankful for the intense longing that 2010 has left with me to shout out with great anticipation, "Come LORD Jesus, Come!" My prayer is that whatever the next years of my life hold, may I maintain that desire to see Jesus face to face while redeeming the time He has given me here as His ambassador. It is a privilege to be His.

Giving Thanks

2010-12-07T20:42:00.007-06:00

While this year has been rough to say the least, thankfulness still abounds in my heart. It was good to have a season where it was on the forefront of my mind; God is gracious and good to an undeserving people. For that I am thankful. My perspective, after reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, has shifted. Thankfulness flows when your grasp that "for redeemed sinners, every good thing-indeed every bad thing that God turns for good-was obtained for us by the cross of Christ. Apart from the death of Christ, sinners get nothing but judgment. Apart from the cross of Christ, there is only condemnation. Therefore everything that you enjoy in Christ-as a Christian, as a person who trusts Christ-is owing to the death of Christ. And all your rejoicing in all things should therefore be a rejoicing in the cross where all your blessings were purchased for you at the cost of the death of the Son of God, Jesus Christ." Thank you Jesus for buying it ALL with your blood!

This year for Thanksgiving we took the month of November and memorized Psalm 100 together. The girls did a great job with it!

These leaves hung throughout our home listing the many things we have to be thankful for:)

Lizzie's Thanksgiving Feast at school was fun! Chicken Express for all!

Look at that pretty turkey head!!

The weather kept us away from our usual Turkey Trot, instead Hungry Hungry Hippos and...

Pioneer Woman Cinnamon Rolls... YUMMO!

Here are the girls saying their verse... too cute!

My sweet family:)

Cousins! Amoriyah was a great participant in the fun of Thanksgiving:)

LEAVES are the best part of Thanksgiving as far as my girls are concerned! My Aunt and Uncle live on acreage with an abundance of oak trees. The tradition has become to rake up the leaves and then have races into the piles... Marin and Lizzie are special sweet cousins and friends! I only wish The Woodlands wasn't so far away!

I don't think this smile came off of Lizzie's face the whole afternoon!

Lainie joined in on the action!

Who needs toys?!

Too many cameras!

These kiddos slept like champs that night!

Leaf Ladies!

Precious Memories Made!

After 9 Months

2010-11-22T17:34:00.006-06:00

Oh my, it is crazy to think back and realize that it has been 9 months since we held our Charlotte Jane! We miss her like crazy, and even more so lately as we have also mourned the loss of another baby. It was very fitting that Justin was able to preach Romans 8 on Sunday at CityView regarding suffering. Well done babe! (I'll let you know when it is posted, so you can listen!)

I think the biggest thing that I want to be known to all is that we are NOT strong people! If not for the strength of the Holy Spirit within us, things in our family would have looked far different over the past 9 months! The miraculous strength of Jesus has carried me. Any strength that has been displayed in me has only been a reflection of Jesus's supernatural strength that He so graciously gives to those who are His. If we attempt to be strong on our own, we will fall! My hope is that Jesus would be your strength; that any attempt of being strong on your own would be pushed aside and that you would CLING to the hope you have in Jesus. His strength is sufficient! Ephesians 6:10 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might."

Suffering well can only be done in the power of the Spirit! Crying out to the Lord in sobs of confusion and pain can be honoring to Him. I have sobbed and sobbed a lot, and I have been angry, and I have asked WHY?! many times. I have read Psalms over and over and seen that it is totally ok to pour out all of my emotions before the God of the universe. He cares deeply and assures us that this road will not be walked alone. At the end of the day though, I have to trust that God is in absolute control. He is not shocked that we have lost 2 babies is the past 9 months. He is writing this story for our family, and He is working all things together for His glory and our good.

Many of you have asked how Lizzie and Lainie are doing, and I have to tell you that their childlike faith has brought me great joy and hope (for this reason and many others, we have named our most recent baby Hope). These girls are an absolute gift and this Thanksgiving, my thankfulness for them is immense!

Please pray for our family as Thanksgiving and Christmas approach. This time last year I was prepping a Thanksgiving name game to reveal Charlotte Jane's name to our families as well as the fun that you blog followers joined us in for our blog name game! I know that there will be triggers that cause me to erupt in tears unexpectedly (like typing this right now); please pray that I would honor Christ in these moments and be directed straight back to Him.

Thanks for walking with us. Community has been one of the richest blessings this year. We are thankful for you!

October

2010-11-17T00:00:00.001-06:00

October was a busy month with a lot of memories made. Here is the month in review through pictures! LOTS OF PICTURES!

October 2nd, my cousin Ryan was married to his bride, Danielle. We spent the weekend in The Woodlands to help them celebrate. Elizabeth had the honor of being a flower girl, and she did a great job, even after a series of crazy events including a nasty 3 inch curling iron burn on her forearm!

It was a great time for taking pictures, and we took plenty!

We busted out the warm jammers! And... Lainie is sleeping in her big girl bed at night! These girls are enjoying sharing a room; I love to listen in on their before bed conversations and singing. I pray that God would continue to cultivate a precious relationship between them.

After a couple of weeks of utilizing my good ol' drying rack, I was blessed by a brand new awesome dishwasher!

Lizzie can count to 100:)

We went to the Shrine Circus with Nana and PawPaw and Granny and Grandaddy. The girls loved it!!!!

We had a great time at the Fort Worth Zoo with the Crawford Kids and the Patterson Kids. (More pics coming... they are trapped on my smaller camera for which I cannot find it's USB cord)
Lizzie had Western Day at Preschool. She was super-cute in her awesome bling shirt that Grammy made, her new shiny belt, and her boots she bought with her birthday money! Oh, I love this little cowgirl! Though she was apprehensive about riding the pony, she did it and even had a smile on her face:)

Mary Harris Intermediate held their official ribbon cutting ceremony. Mom was honored, and it was a very special night with many of her former teachers and friends and family in attendance.

Amoriyah is stinkin' cute!

We had a great time at the Pumpkin Patch! The girls and I went once with some friends and then we all went as a family.

Costumes were worn by the girls... Elizabeth was a butterfly fairy princess and Elaine was a Barbie. Between Lizzie's preschool (Where Aunt Kristie made and appearance), Justin's office party, CityView's event, and trick or treating in our neighborhood, the candy loot is INSANE!

Overall a fun month! Thankful for all of the memories we have made together as a family!

After 8 Months

2010-10-29T15:12:00.002-05:00

(Note: most of this post was composed prior to this week... The past few days have only solidified these thoughts.)
After 8 months without our Charlotte, God has clearly done some incredible things in our lives! I have contemplated where to go with this post, because this month has been such a melting pot of emotions. However, the one constant (other than our incredible LORD, without whom our lives would look monumentally different!) in these very uncertain and foggy months has been the relationship I have with my rock solid husband.

I have to admit that there was an element of concern for our marriage after Charlotte passed away. There was just so much uncertainty, and I was honestly scared about how the enemy would choose to attack. This is where I extend sincere thanks to those of you who have fought for our relationship in prayer! While there have been challenging moments and days, I must say that overall God has strengthened our marriage and given us a depth of intimacy and appreciation for each other that would be hard to come by without the loss of Charlie.

Not that we have grieved exactly the same, but God has given us a sincere understanding of one another that has intensified our love for each other.

We both have our differing ways of escaping the situation. For Justin it is humor. I appreciate this greatly most of the time; his quick wit can bring a much needed smile to my face, but he also backs off quickly when I let him know it's enough. For both of us, we escape into busyness as well. I attempt to be SuperMom (making Lizzie's costume and making popcorn balls for her class the night of my miscarriage), which is not always healthy, and Justin gently reminds me when I have escaped too far and need to take care of myself. Justin throws himself into excellence in his work providing for our family as well as in being a pastor. Together though, we also have pressed more deeply into Jesus and one another. We have been forced to really talk about the depths of our hearts and things that we likely would not have without the events of 2010. Scripture spoken to each other has greater meaning, and wresting through Truth together has solidified what we believe. We have been forced to evaluate our lives and to actually live out what we have claimed as Truth. I would NEVER have hoped to have walked through the immense pain and trying circumstances to which God has called us. However, I am thankful to be able to confidently say on this side that God is indeed faithful to His children. It is our HOPE and CONFIDENCE that God is indeed working together all things for our good and His glory. Thank you Jesus for Justin Bassett, the man I get to walk this journey alongside. May our marriage point to You!

1 Corinthians 13:12

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

He withholds no good thing...

2010-10-26T13:10:00.003-05:00

Today has been a disappointing day... After some concern about our baby, we went to the Dr. to find that there was no heartbeat, and while baby should be measuring 10 weeks he/she was only measuring 8 weeks. Our hearts hurt deeply, but in the pain we are believing that God is sufficient, sovereign, and good!

Psalm 84:11-12 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Dear Sweet Baby,

I'm so glad I got to be your mommy for a few short weeks. I do not understand God's plan, but I do trust it fully. I am confident that your life and the loss of your life will be used by God to magnify Himself and to draw people more deeply in love with the King. I miss you, and I want to hold you in my arms, but I trust that our good God knows far better.

I love you,

Mommy

Here We Go Again!!!

2010-10-16T22:05:00.005-05:00

So it's true....

Angela is 9 weeks along and due in May; May 24th to be exact. We went to the doctor on Monday and saw baby's heartbeat and even saw the baby do a "flip" in the womb.

We're thankful for this incredible blessing and more than ever, we are incredibly aware of God's sovereignty and provision in our lives.

For those of you who have followed our journey over the past 8 months and prayed for us during this time, we're so thankful for you. God has blessed us in so many ways and we are still seeing incredible ways that God used Charlotte's life for His glory. We can have hope that tummy baby will have as big of an impact, though we obviously hope that his or her time on earth will be much longer. Please continue to pray for us over these next several months. We love you guys!

Justin & Ang

Go RANGERS!

2010-10-07T21:39:00.006-05:00

Last week we took advantage of awesome weather and $3 tickets and had a great family night at the ballpark. The girls did GREAT- way better than I would have ever imagined. We had soooo much fun, and here are the pictures to prove it! Cotton Candy and the Rangers Girls made the night extra special. (and the 9 trips Elaine and I made to the bathroom:)

4 Years With Our Lizzie Girl!

2010-09-25T20:59:00.017-05:00

September 15th marked 4 precious years that God has given us with Elizabeth Grace. Words cannot express the JOY this girl brings to our days. We have a blast together and our conversations range from the very serious of interpreting scripture to the crazy of what would we do if we lived in a tiny Lego house. As I looked back at pictures from the past year, I couldn't help but smile as I recounted Lizzie's growth and multiple accomplishments; she has grown up!

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the past year.

Reading Bible Book with Daddy each night followed by a Lizzie story are important parts of our evening!

Running in the wind in her Easter dress and enjoying life!

Bustin' a move!

Lizzie's first play to attend "Cinderella". She curtsied when she met the prince and was disappointed to not get to ride in the carriage. She and Addie sat together and were wide-eyed most of the performance.

GigEm Ags! Lizzie's first trip to Aggieland last spring was so much fun!

Puzzles have been mastered by this girl! She was very proud of her first 100 piecer!

9 months of gymnastics were a lot of fun... my super tall girl will likely not be a gymnast, but she was a good sport and enjoyed her time with her friend Eden.

I just love this picture!!!! At Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Trey's ranch, a great place to relax!

She can do sooo many things by herself now, including putting on her life jacket. Our time at the lake with Grammy and Pop was a blast! Lizzie especially enjoyed fishing with Pop!

Sweet sisters! Before bedtime hugs and kisses are a must!

Swim Lessons!!! Lizzie took 2 weeks of swim lessons with Beth Anne and she did great! Swimming underwater to get rings was one of her favorite things to do.

Addie and Lizzie love each other so much... enough to fight and then cry when they are separated. The blessing of having your best friend through your backyard is HUGE!

READING! Yes, Lizzie Grace is reading:) She loves books and can sound out most one syllable words and knows a large chunk of sight words. Her Tag pen has been a lot of fun for her.

Cheerleaders!!! Date Night=Dress Up and some type of performance by these two:)

Playing in the sprinklers-- a free spirit that I ADORE!

Celebrating Elizabeth's 4th birthday stretched out over a couple of weeks. It began with cupcakes for the Duck Class.

On her real birthday we spent the morning and Grammy and Pop's house where she got to hang out with the animals:)

For her dinner with the fam, she could pick ANY restaurant... and we went to Spring Creek, because they have good mac and cheese and yummy bread:)

Aren't they cute?!

Lizzie scored big with a TinkerBell sleeping bag, an Easy Bake oven, a piggy bank, clothes, a zhu zhu pet, nail polish and bubble bath!

Lizzie's party was on Saturday, and we had 8 little ladies dressed up like butterflies to celebrate with us! They were too cute! We had breakfast, decorated placemats, and giggled LOTS!

We love you Lizzie Grace!

After 7 Months

2010-09-22T14:34:00.007-05:00

After 7 months without Charlotte Jane, some days are much easier than others. There are still days where I don't really function well, and my time is the Word has been sporadic. Yes, I know I need it and I know that I can't live without Truth being poured into my soul, but honestly there have been days when I haven't had the energy to fight the lies of the enemy telling me that God's word is not sufficient- what a nasty cycle that can become, huh?!

Thankfully I am surrounded by incredible friends and the best husband ever! Most recently Justin has spoken the truth of Proverbs 3:5 over me. I must confess that I initially wanted to tune him out, thinking, "yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that one." However, he then challenged me by saying, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart- what does that mean? What are you trusting in?" As we discussed it further we talked about trusting in God's character, trusting in God's sovereignty, trusting in God's promises, trusting in God's truth, and trusting in God's love for his people. Then he asked again, "Lean not on your own understanding- what does this mean?" For me it boiled down to not clinging to my idea of what this life should look like or my perception of what His best really is. All of this leaves me thankful. I have the God of the universe who has given me life through Jesus to cling to, depend on, and rest in. He is more than enough, and I need Him desperately!

As Lizzie is in preschool 2 days a week, I have loved my time alone with Elaine. However, with every moment enjoyed with just the two of us comes a reminder that it was supposed to be Lainie and Charlie. When I was asked by Lizzie's teachers for the names of her immediate family members, I didn't include Charlotte. Oh, I miss our girl!

At the cemetery this month we sang Sing to the King and worshipped our sustaining God with great HOPE. Lainie asked if an angel statue was Jesus, most likely because we say Charlotte is with Jesus, so she assumed that He had to be there at the cemetery. This was a confusing conversation with a two year old who is very concrete. My hope though is that very early on God will call Lizzie and Lainie to himself and they will grasp the truth of Christ in us, the Hope of Glory. That while Charlotte is in perfection with Jesus, he allows us a taste of glory here on earth as His Spirit dwells within us.

Thanks again for prayers lifted up on our behalf, calls, texts and emails. God has used you greatly!

She's A Duck!

2010-09-09T11:45:00.005-05:00

After 6 Months

2010-08-18T21:17:00.005-05:00

Tuesday marked 6 months since Charlotte's time here on earth ended and her days in glory began. I am wondering when the 17th day of a month will come without me going through the day processing the events of February 17th: the phone call, the drive to the hospital, the decision to hold our girl as she met Jesus, holding Charlotte for the first and last time, singing over her, praying with Justin, crying tears of unknown emotions, discovering the rare sickness CJ was exposed to in the womb, making funeral arrangements for our baby, being embraced by family and sweet friends, knowing we would have to tell our big girls that Charlie Jane would never come to live at our house, our lifegroup coming over and praying over us, and going to sleep knowing that this wasn't a bad dream, but it was in fact reality for our family.

Going into this month, I knew it was going to be rough. Our precious niece, Amoriyah was due to join the world on July 30th, and being the punctual little lady she is, she came right on schedule! Jenn and I were pregnant for a few months together, and the idea of cousins so close in age got us really excited. However, Amoriyah's arrival was yet another reminder that there would be no cousins in the same grade of school, no running off at family events to make mischief together, no chatting between Jenn and I about how Charlotte and Amoriyah were growing and developing. Again, God's sovereignty came into play. Amoriyah arrived quickly and late at night which did not allow Justin and I to both go to the hospital. Not wanting me in a creepy parking garage alone, Justin went as our family representative. I wept deeply that night missing my girl. As much as I wanted to be with Justin in those moments, the best thing for me was to cry out to Jesus in his absence. I read Psalm after Psalm of God's unwavering faithfulness, I was reminded that He is Good and what He does is Good, I was reassured that I don't have to understand why Charlotte's life was so short to worship Him, because He is trustworthy.

We had good time as a family together at the cemetery on Charlotte's birthday where Justin had taken new pretty gerber daisies on his way home from work, and dear friends had left a beautiful plant and a sweet sign in Charlotte's memory. "Thy Mercy" by Caedmons Call has been Elaine's song of choice this month, so we sang it together and worshiped our good God who extends great mercy to us! Elaine is beginning to ask "Where'd Charlotte go?" For now, she accepts the answer, "Charlotte is with Jesus in heaven," but I am looking forward to our future conversations and the opportunity to teach her very early on that because of Jesus, we have hope that far exceeds this broken world we live in!

Hope: this glorious word has defined our month! Charlotte's 6 month birthday was probably the hardest one yet. I still cannot pinpoint why, but I can tell you that the tears flowed freely, and I clung so desperately to words of truth in that day. Praise Jesus that He knew it was going to be a rough day for me. The day before, Taber, Steph, and Beth Anne took me to breakfast, and on the 10th, He provided just the perfect mix of downtime combined with activity with sweet friends which allowed me to grieve but also to press on motivated by the Hope we have in Him. Seriously though, reminders of my baby girl were at every turn! We went to a special event at the library where there was a ventriloquist, and just guess what her first puppet's name was, yup- Charlotte! It was at that point that I wanted to scream, "Yes, I know my baby would be 6 months old today! I remember!" Then, I looked around the library full of people and was softened to what was on the hearts of the rest of the patrons. Most moms in that room were not locked into the hilarity of a puppet show. Their minds too were racing with struggles, frustrations, doubts, insecurities, hurts, and fears. No, the middle of the library is not the time to divulge the depths of your heart, but in those moments, I did praise Jesus for the husband and friends I have with whom I can share my burdens. I rejoiced in the hope that we as followers of Christ have and ached for the women in that room who have no hope. While I have said this multiple times before, I will say it again-I simply don't know how I would function daily without the faith that the Gospel is true! I pray that our story and that our family would be a light in this dark world, pointing people to the goodness, mercy and grace of our Lord.

This month Lizzie and I went through Charlotte's box together on her "heaven day." We giggled at CJ's crazy sunglasses from the bili light, marveled at her sweet foot imprint, praised Jesus for the huge stack of cards from friends and family who loved Charlotte, and talked about that glorious day when Jesus comes back! Elizabeth had wanted to go through the box for a long time, and I was so glad we did. There were sweet memories of the shampoo I used to wash Charlie's hair, the bow that a precious nurse made for our girl, and CJ's "sissy kisses" lovie that Lizzie and Lainie would love on and send back and forth from home to the hospital. It's amazing that 7 days can create such a plethora of memories!

While this month has been full of emotional challenges, it also has presented countless opportunities for God to use our pain and our story to encourage others in the midst of difficult circumstances. I am thankful for the sensitive spirit He has given us toward those who are wading through life's raging waters, especially regarding situations with their children. It is my delight to serve these friends in prayer and encourage them in the truth as so many have done for us in the past several months. We are blessed beyond belief to still be receiving notes, texts, and emails reminding us that the body of Christ is an incredible gift! Thank you for loving our family well!!!!

After 5 Months

2010-07-19T17:12:00.006-05:00

Saturday marked five months since Charlotte's short life here on earth ended. This month I have experienced the miscarriage of a sweet friend's baby and the birth of another, both of which brought on intense emotions. I mourned the loss with one and was able to say in absolute confidence, "Our God is Good and His love is unfailing and He will carry you." I rejoiced over the new life of another baby and praised God for the miracle of no complications. All the while I missed Charlie Jane. The above picture is now hanging in our hallway, and both Elizabeth and Elaine talk about her often; I like it that way, but it is also hard. A close friend and I had due dates 2 days apart, and as I watch Elaine love on and stand in awe of baby Tripp, I miss Charlotte. I wonder how our family would look and what life would be like with a five month old sweet baby girl. Then God lovingly and tenderly brings me back to reality where it is good to mourn but even better to look at His unchanging character and to be reminded of His unfailing Truth.

As I worshiped with the body of believers at CityView yesterday, I don't know that I have ever been more thankful for that time together. I looked around me and saw dear friends trusting God with the fresh diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy for their son, a couple stepping out in faith to soon plant a church, good friends struggling to understand their role in the lives of other friends who are hurting, single girls who desperately desire a husband, a friend who is struggling with what to say to her 14 year old niece that is fighting cancer, a girl who wants to know God deeply and trust Him but just isn't there yet, a man who has been without a job for months and desires to be the provider for His family, and so many others whose stories I don't know. Together we came before the throne, believing that as we sang

"I sought the Lord, He answered me

And delivered me, from all my fears, from all my fears

Those who look to Him, are radiant

And their faces will not show disappointment, no disappointment"

that it is in fact True! Our God is not holding out on us.

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly."

Though our lives may not look as we would have ever chosen for ourselves, when we seek the Lord in the midst of challenging circumstances He is faithful to answer! He does deliver us from ALL OUR FEARS; He does not disappoint! What an incredible blessing to be surrounded by this honest and real group of people practicing for Heaven and the day where our circumstances of heartache, frustration, dispair, and sadness are wiped away and faith is no more because we are face to face with the One who does not disappoint! Oh I love the Body of Christ, and eternity together is going to be fun! But, until then, I will fight for Truth, grieve in season, and rejoice in season alongside them, and I will be thankful for them doing the same for me!

This was a great month for Justin and I! We were able to get away with our good friends, the Crawfords, and take a 4 day vacation without children or technology! It was such sweet time to relax, rest and simply enjoy each other. I did fight some pretty serious guilt the day or two before we left, knowing that if Charlotte were still here, we would not have been taking the trip. I submitted it to the Lord though, and He faithfully assured my heart that this was a much needed time away, and it in no way dishonored Charlotte. I have also struggled with what to say when meeting someone new who asks how many children I have. Sometimes I just don't want to talk about it, so I say "two," and sometimes I include Charlotte, but then it is awkward for the other person. I am hopeful that the Holy Spirit will lead me in these times, because if our story could be an encouragement used of God, then no matter how awkward or difficult it may be, I want to share it!

We miss our sweet Charlotte, but we are delighted that God is working in our hearts and that we are able to testify to His goodness toward His people. Thank you again for your friendship and for joining us on this road; God is indeed gracious to us!

Happy Birthday Taber!

2010-07-15T14:24:00.007-05:00

Today is my precious friend Taber's birthday, and I just want to celebrate her a bit, so here we go!

As an only child I think I have always been extra thankful for girlfriends. God has given me the perfect friends for the perfect seasons of my life, and this season is no different.

A little over 4 years ago, Taber and I met at a birthday party (birthday palooza) where we were given the task of decorating with crepe paper- we made a great team:) When we left that party, I predicted to Justin that she was pregnant or would be soon- she was and didn't even know it yet! Since then, God has been faithful to grow Taber and I as friends, to allow us to share a gate between our backyards, and to let us walk/ run/ trudge through life together. Here are a few things I love about my sweet friend...

Taber is quick to listen and respond with Truth.

Taber loves her husband and her children well.

Taber knows how to make me laugh.

Taber is passionate about the Church.

Taber serves her friends well.

Taber challenges me.

Taber desires for Jesus to be made much of in every area of her life.

Taber is honest.

Taber cries with me and reminds me I don't have to "be strong".

Taber loves Sonic more than I do:)

Taber is generous.

Taber knows that her life is not her own and desires God use her as He pleases for His glory!

I love Taber and am so thankful that God has given Justin and I such precious friends in the Crawford Family! Here are a few pics to recount the fun we had together over the 4th of July!

Cancun

2010-07-08T09:03:00.009-05:00

Justin and I had an absolute blast and were indeed refreshed by our time away! We had a great time with Adam and Taber doing a whole lot of nothing! We ate, laid by the beach, read, ate some more, played the worlds most challenging putt putt course, read some more, played in the crazy huge waves left by Alex, ate some more, played cards, ate some more, laid by the pool, played dominoes, and laid by the beach some more! As you can see, we had a strenuous few days at our all inclusive resort!!! Here are a few pics to make you jealous:)

It's True! Elaine is TWO!

2010-07-03T22:20:00.001-05:00

On Memorial Day, May 31, Elaine Karis Bassett turned 2! It was fun to have her special day on a a holiday; we took it easy most of the day. We enjoyed donuts together as a family, and then we headed to Petsmart to purchase Lainie's birthday present, 2 African Dwarf Frogs, who she named Jett and Juliet:). Since then, they have been renamed Uno and Dos. We celebrated with a few friends and family that afternoon with a Puppy Party for our little lady.

At age 2 Elaine is a spunky girl who adds incredible amounts of JOY to our days. She loves to sing and dance and to entertain anyone who will humor her. Lainie's favorite song to sing is "Hallelujah all I have is Christ," and I can't help but smile each time she belts it out or I hear her singing it in bed before she drifts off to sleep. She is becoming responsible; Elaine puts her dirty clothes in the hamper, throws away trash, fills her own purse with diapers and wipes when we are going somewhere, picks out her clothes and dresses herself, and is now letting me know when she needs to go poop on the potty! She is still very strong willed, but is beginning to self monitor. Yesterday, I guess she thought she needed a timeout for some reason, so she went in her room, closed the door, stayed for a minute or so and then exited yelling "Elaine O-BEY!"

Elaine loves Elizabeth, and it is precious to see their relationship growing. She still has yet to sleep in her big girl bed in Lizzie's room, but she has gotten closer by laying in it with all of her nighttime things. Eventually I suppose...

Lainie's communication is excellent compared to a few months ago! If you consider context you can almost always understand her. She is beginning to add in the smaller words of sentences and use possessives correctly.

The water is a favorite for Elaine, and with her "swim sweater" on, she is a happy woman in the pool! On Father's Day when we got to my Granny's, she informed me, "Lainie no eat. Swim sweater on and swim!"

Girly Girl still describes our sweet girl well. Nail polish, my high heels, sparkly make up and her crown make Elaine very happy:) We are working on her colors, but to date most things are PINK!

Her taste is indicative of her personality... I had some Altoids in purse, and Elaine requested one. I told her they were spicy and that she would not like them. To cement my point, I gave her one to taste- she LOVED it! Now, Altoids are called "Mommy's Spicies" and asked for frequently.

Hard to believe it has been 2 years- we love you like crazy Elaine Karis and are so thankful for the spice you bring to our family!!!!!

Still my "baby girl" at bed time- Lainie loves her pink "ba" and Lamb Chop!

Pink Cupcakes... the Bassett family tradition!

After her first slip n slide experience

Snuggled up with Sissy and Daddy for song time

My Little Lady

Lainie loves her Nana and PawPaw!

Not even sure what is going on here, but Elaine is always doing something to make us laugh:)

Meet Uno and Dos!

Summer Time! Popsicles shared with Sissy:)

After 4 Months

2010-06-19T22:50:00.005-05:00

Thursday marked 4 months since our precious Charlotte Jane went to be with Jesus in glory. It has been a good month for us. I have felt more like myself than I have in a good while. I had the privilege of teaching a session at our women's retreat and a couple of nights of our Sports Camp, and interestingly both of my teaching opportunities honed in on Ephesians 2, the gospel. I love teaching, because I end up preaching so much to myself, and it's always good when it's the gospel:)

At the same time, I have had to fight for truth a lot this month. It seems the enemy has chosen to attack more this month than any other since Charlotte's death. I am thankful for friends who have not forgotten and continue to contend for the gospel in the life of our family. Not a week has gone by without a note, or a text, or an email, or a facebook message filled with scripture and prayers or just a simple "I love you!" Tears puddle in my eyes as I read these words that encourage my heart and remind me of the precious hope we have in Jesus! I am incredibly thankful for our committed friends!

This month we had a great turnout for a ladies' night at CityView where we put together boxes for a ministry we are beginning called Hopeful Hearts. Some of the money donated in memory of Charlotte was used to purchase supplies to get Hopeful Hearts started:) This is an incredible opportunity to minister to women who have experienced miscarriage, infant loss, infertility or adoption loss, and I am excited to be a part of it! I know that God will continue to heal my heart through this ministry and I am hopeful that I will be able to encourage others as well. I look forward to September when we are able to begin meeting together and inviting women to join us who are struggling through similar issues.

Justin and I have decided that we will visit the cemetery each month on Charlotte's birthday, the 10th. June was the first month that we took Elizabeth and Elaine with us since the day we buried Charlotte. It was a sweet time of worship as a family as we sang and prayed together. The girls wanted to sing "My God is So Big," so we did. As we sang, I was thankful for the simplicity but the BIG Truth of this song. When we got to "the mountains are His, the valleys are His, the stars are His handiwork too" part, I began to think of the mountains and valleys as a metaphor for life. The highs and lows of our lives are in His hands, and He is intimately involved in it all. There truly is nothing my God cannot do, including healing my broken heart.

We miss our precious Charlie Jane, and as I watch my friends' babies who are around 4 months old, I can't help but let my mind wander for a minute or two about what her little personality would be like, how much Lizzie and Lainie would love her, and how she would be growing. Then I return to reality where I don't have a baby girl in my arms, but I rejoice that sweet Charlotte knows NO pain and is in the presence of our Great King; my sadness doesn't last long when I set my heart on this truth!

Again, thank you for not letting us walk this journey alone. Your prayers on our behalf and words of encouragement are more precious than you will ever know. Love!

I LOVE Lizzie Grace!

2010-05-19T15:51:00.001-05:00

It is insane that my Lizzie Grace is growing up so quickly! We have so much fun together, and I am excited to see who God is shaping her to be. Last week was a big week for Elizabeth as far as accomplishments go, so I must share!

On Tuesday, Elizabeth figured out how to swing herself! She has been trying so hard, because a little over a month ago Addie got it. I was inside attempting my first homemade alfredo sauce (that's another story... ), so Taber opened up the gate and Lizzie went over to play with Addie. When I came to a stopping point I headed over, and there she was just swinging away! Hooray for Lizzie! Since then, she happily goes out back and swings for long periods of time- the independence is BIG!

On Thursday, Lizzie and I successfully completed our first 150 piece puzzle together (Lizzie's purchase from our neighbors' garage sale). It was a good time to just chat with her and watch her little brain work as she did a lot of the puzzle on her own. I had forgotten how relaxing jigsaw puzzles are- we may have to invest in a few more!

Also on Thursday, I bought the first set of Bob Books at Costco with the hope of starting them in the next month or so with Elizabeth. She, like her Momma, cannot wait to open new things, so right after rest time, we dug in! On Thursday alone Elizabeth read Mat, Sam, and Dot. With very minimal help, Lizzie read and understood what she was reading! So proud of her!!!! I'm really not pushing her to practice but encouraging her to do her best when she does read. Challenge is good for Elizabeth, and I am looking forward to watching her grow in her love for books and reading!

I love you Lizzie Grace and I celebrate your accomplishments! I love to watch you learn new things... and to be super silly too!

After 3 Months

2010-05-15T22:25:00.001-05:00

Monday marked three months since sweet Charlotte Jane's birth. As Justin and I left the cemetery Monday, we both remarked,"It's only been 3 months?" The past month has been probably the hardest for me so far. I began making phone calls to pay all of the bills we owe and had to tell my story to people who had no background. I cried a lot. Thankfully, Justin took over that task from me; I love my husband! Also, this month, I began to read through a book called "Grieving the Child I Never Knew." I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone else who has had a miscarriage or lost an infant. While it is a great book, I cry pretty much every time I sit down with it, as I deal with deep emotions I didn't even know I had. The tears have been healing though, and I will continue to make my way through this excellent resource as God heals my heart. There have also been some little things that have been a big deal for me. One of them probably no one else even realized. Around Christmas time I happened to be in Gymboree to exchange a Christmas present for a different size. In the clearance bin, an adorable orange dress with white polka dots caught my eye. I decided that if there was one in each of the girls' sizes for this coming summer that I would buy them. Sure enough I found the perfect sizes and bought what I assumed to be the first of many purchases of matching clothes for my 3 little ladies. Those dresses have been put up in the top of a closet, and I every time I saw them I got choked up. On Mothers Day, I decided to let Lizzie and Lainie wear their's. They looked adorable, got a ton of compliments, and my mind wandered off thinking how fun it would have been to have all three of my sweet girls in their matching polka dot dresses.

As we grow and move through our grief, our opportunities to encourage others in their times of challenge have increased. I was asked to write an article for the Mothers' Milk Bank which was a really good exercise for me, and I am hopeful that it encouraged others. Another exciting thing this month is getting to spend the money donated in memory of Charlotte for our our children's ministry at CityView. We were able to buy new blinds for our classrooms, nice tables and chairs, musical instruments, and a lot of fun things for our kiddos! It is really exciting to see how Charlotte's life is going to bless so many children for years to come thanks to a lot of people's generosity!

Thank you again for joining us on this journey! We appreciate it greatly! God is so good and continues to work in our lives; what more could we ask?

My story for the Milk Bank:
Baby Girl #3! We were elated at the news that another little girl would be added to our family and began planning for a life of more pink and more bows. A couple of months before my due date, I began to get very uncomfortable, but I just assumed that little Charlotte was situated strangely. At a 36 week ultrasound, I was diagnosed with extreme polyhydramnios (excessive amniotic fluid), and a more in depth ultrasound showed that Charlotte’s head was small for her fetal age which would likely present her with some challenges upon birth. After all of this sunk in, many tears were cried and my husband and I reminded each other that God was in control, and we basically just waited for Charlotte’s arrival to find out what was really going on.

A week later, my water broke, we headed to the hospital, and Charlotte Jane was born within 30 minutes of our arrival. Immediately a team of NICU doctors and nurses began working on her and finally got her stable enough for transport to Cook Children ’s. I got to kiss her on the forehead before she left. Honestly, there was no guarantee and little optimism that she would survive the transport. However, Charlotte made it to Cook’s, and the outlook was much brighter when we visited her the next day. Although she was not ready for milk yet, I began to pump with the hope that she would soon be ready and benefit from getting my milk. The next seven days were exhausting but so precious at the same time. My husband and I spent most of the day at the hospital with Charlotte, would come home for dinner with our other two daughters, and then return to the NICU until midnight or so. The pump room at the hospital was often a refuge for me --a place I could lock myself in, cry, and hope for the day Charlotte was healthy enough to nurse. Charlotte actually did have one really good day and got one feeding of my milk; that was a happy day! As it became more evident that Charlotte’s struggle was coming to an end, I had no desire to stop pumping; rather, I thought of all of the other precious babies in that NICU whose mommies were not able to pump and give them the gift of mommy milk. Having a friend at my church who serves on the board for the Mothers’ Milk Bank, I realized that I had the opportunity to donate the milk I had collected.

Charlotte Jane died only a week after she was born. The struggle to press on and to fight for joy in such a heartbreaking time has been tough, but knowing that the milk that was supposed to be hers is now a gift to other babies so they can keep fighting is precious and brings a smile to my face. I continued to pump for a month after Charlotte’s birth hoping I could bless other babies while I grieved the loss of my own. I was able to provide the Mothers’ Milk Bank with several hundred ounces of milk, and I pray many babies are blessed by Charlotte’s life through my donation.

23 Months!

2010-05-05T18:45:00.001-05:00

Oh my! Elaine is almost 2! Though it is hard to say, I am pretty sure that over the past month I have seen more drastic improvements in her communication than in any other month. All of a sudden we are having "conversations" where she definitely understands,?> and she is fairly clear in her verbal responses. Her melt downs have all but disappeared now that she is getting her point across so well, and we are having so much fun! She is quite the little parrot as she is experimenting with language. I think my favorite phrase lately is "need weed popper" after I commented that such a device would be helpful.

Elaine still LOVES breakfast, especially oatmeal, muffins, yogurt, fruit, or anything else she can convince me is appropriate for that time of day. While she is growing, 2t shorts still fall off of her. She absolutely adores her babies and is so sweet with them, most of the time:) Now that her verbal skills have improved, her "mother hen" personality is showing up more and more as she bosses other kiddos around and makes sure that everyone has the correct shoes, cup, toy, etc. Lainie still is quite the sleeper, sleeping for about 12-13 hrs at night with a good 2+ hr nap during the day. Her bed is getting a little crowded though, as she now has 2 regular pillows, lamb chop, baby, little blankie and 2 pacis not to mention the odd objects she has adopted as necessary for sleep- Jett's phone and a small plastic good from the farm animal set. Before she falls asleep it is not uncommon to hear her singing "hallelujah, hallelujah..." so stinkin' sweet! It is hard to believe that in just a few weeks we will be celebrating our precious girl's 2nd birthday. Oh how we love you Elaine Karis! Thank you for the JOY you bring to our days!

Jett, Lainie, and Juliet LOVE the round and round bikes, the only problem is their feet don't reach, so the mommies get the workout!

Laine loves Jett!

Lainie REALLY LOVES Jett!

Pretty Pretty!

Peek A Boo!

Our sweet sweet Lainie K!

Aggieland!

2010-04-19T22:07:00.010-05:00

This past weekend, we hit the road and headed to Aggieland to visit Gabe, Megan and Ella! It was a whirlwind day and a half, but so much fun! While the girls have been with us before to College Station, they had never been to campus, so we braved the Parents' Weekend crew and headed to the A&M campus. Below are lots of pics to document our FUN!

Welcome to Aggieland!

Aren't we cute?!

This tree really is IMPRESSIVE!

Gig' Em Ags!

The sweet girls who get the gift of my Aggie Elementary Education Degree on a daily basis:)

@ the education sculpture

So much exploring to do!

"Wow Mommy! This tree is BIGGER THAN JESUS!" - Lizzie upon seeing the Century Tree

Pennies on Sully's Shoe

Lizzie did it all by herself (while also knocking off several other pennies)

So, the class of '05 did something cool!

A fantastic duet!

Love those Daddies!

Mommy's girls!

Not interested in posing

What are you people doing to us?!

Our gracious hosts and bestest Aggie Friends

Justin and the girlies

Lainie and Ella have more important things to talk about than the book Aunt Megs is reading!

Elaine: "Cat VERY HIGH!"

After a fun day, the car seats were calling their names... LOVE MY GIRLS!

What a GREAT Weekend!

After 2 Months

2010-04-12T23:54:00.005-05:00

Saturday would have been Charlotte Jane's 2 month birthday. A lot has happened in the last 2 months and our family continues to do well. Please don't mistake our doing well for us being strong people; rather we have been strengthened greatly by our faithful God. When an unexpected scenario brings sadness and a longing for our baby, He is there to bring great comfort. When Lizzie asks a tough question, He is there to speak through us in a way she can grasp. When we just need to smile He brings laughter to our home. When we need to know we are not alone He brings along a friend to speak Truth into our hearts. Our God is sooooo good!

There have been a couple of key elements of our healing this month. Thanks to a lot of credit card points, the generosity of Angela's parents to donate their hotel rewards points, and Justin's parents' willingness to take the girls for several days, we were able to get away to DC and Virginia for a few days. It was a refreshing time for us to just relax and enjoy each other. Also, while we were away, we had the opportunity to visit our friends Kyle and Christine who recently planted a church in Charlottesville. Our time together was really good as we talked about life and the goodness of God despite challenging circumstances. After several days of just being with Justin, I definitely felt like I came home from our trip a better mommy!
Our girls' favorite song lately is actually just the bridge to a great song called All I Have is Christ. We have been singing "Hallelujah, all I have is Christ! Hallelujah, Jesus is my life" over and over and over around here lately, and it never gets old. The reminder that every ounce of my life should be about Jesus and that He is truly all I have that is promised gives purpose to my moments and my days and peace in the storms, and hallelujah! He is worthy of praise through it all!
My most unexpected sad moment this month came at the dentist office... They took some impressions, and the cement stuff they used was the same stuff they used to make Charlotte's sweet little footprint for us. I was overwhelmed momentarily with sadness, and then my sweet Jesus reminded me that Charlotte's feet that were crippled in her time here on earth are now made perfect in the presence of Him who makes all things new! Her pain is no more and she is FREE, just as her name indicates! That turned my tears into a smile...
Tonight Justin and I were able to go to the cemetary and put some flowers there. We walked up to see a heart drawn in the dirt saying "we love you". It was a precious reminder that we are not walking this road alone; thank you heart drawer:)
WE love you too Charlotte Jane! Thank you for all you continue to teach us.

22 Months

2010-04-01T22:17:00.010-05:00

Ok... At 22 months, Elaine's personality continues to blossom and her zest for life is contagious, yet exhausting for this momma! This month her vocabulary is growing and we are able to communicate with each other quite well. I got so excited that she clearly said "Fruit Loops" at 8:00 the other night that I gave her a little bowl before bed! (the kind with extra fiber... good for her, right?!) The next night, she tried this game again and asked for "Juice" right before bed. After a considerable fit when I offered only water, she asked for a snack. I conceded and allowed her to have the orange ("moge") she requested. Elaine took one bite, held the orange out to me, smirked, and said "Juice!" Are you kidding me!?! Sneaky little lady!

We continue to battle over wardrobe, but usually I can get her to accept one of two options that I pick out. Elaine wants to do pretty much anything that Elizabeth does which includes buckling her car seat, swinging on the big girl swing, playing hopscotch, opening doors (she needs another inch or two), singing, making crazy faces, climbing into the car, or whatever Lizzie happens to be doing at the moment. She still loves to snuggle and to be with her "Mommy and Daddy" (she no longer calls us Mama and Dada!) and is growing in her enjoyment of books, especially a counting book with a page of 50 DOGS (still a Favorite)! She will point as I count and repeat the numbers after me, and as she gets dressed she says, "one, two," as she puts her arms in a shirt, legs in pants, or puts her shoes on. Elaine's hair can now be put into a big girl ponytail, and is getting long enough that it must be styled to tame the crazy curls!

As Elaine matures and her personality emerges we continue to pray that God would use her spunk for His Kingdom and that we would guide her well.

Love you Lainie K!

iphone + TV remote = power!

singing along

snuggled with Sissy

SO BIG!

Fun at the Park with Grammy & Pop

3.5 Years for Lizzie Grace!

2010-03-16T16:36:00.005-05:00

Yesterday officially marked my big girl's 3.5 year birthday. We don't celebrate those around here, but we did acknowledge it, and I figure it is time for a little update on her life!

This girl is beyond smart, and if I could just wrap my mind around the way her mind works... that would be impressive! I do know this, she is much like her daddy in that her brain has a very hard time resting; she is always analyzing something. If you say something once just in passing, don't be shocked when she brings it back up days or even weeks later! Reading books remains a favorite things to do along with puzzles, coloring, playing doll house, helping me bake, teaching Elaine new things, and overall being helpful! It is absolutely precious to see Elizabeth and her little girl friends at church! They run to hug and greet one another and genuinely look forward to their times together; there are about 8 or so little ladies around the same age that I can just picture growing up together! It is a blessing that Justin and I not only enjoy the community of CityView, but our girls do too.

Beginning in September, Elizabeth will start preschool 2 days a week, and I think she is really ready for it. Lizzie School has been great, but I think she is looking forward to more interaction with kids. Lately I have seen a great improvement in her control when coloring and in her penmanship, but which hand she will choose as her dominant still remains a mystery! Most of the time she can count up into the 50s with very little correction, and she loves to practice her addition. Lizzie's awareness of environmental print is phenomenal and I think we are on the verge of her wanting to do some reading on her own.

Elizabeth continues to be at the top of the growth charts (around the 90th percentile in height and weight) and has pretty much outgrown the toddler clothes! I'm not sure if I am quite ready for the big girl clothing section, but thankfully, she isn't too picky and seems to be fairly agreeable when it comes to her wardrobe.

Oh, how we love this girl! To hear her sing O Glorious Day at the top of her lungs and to long to know more about Jesus is precious. We pray that we would be able to continue to grow her in the ways of Truth and that she may be used mightily by God for His Kingdom.

Yummy Cookies with Addie!

Top photo compliments of our friend Cassie.

What's In A Vow? Happy 5 Years!

2010-03-13T16:03:00.004-06:00

Our Family 5 Years Later!

Yesterday, Justin and I celebrated 5 years of marriage! We enjoyed a fantastic dinner at Cheesecake Factory over which we recounted all God has done in the past 5 years... WHOA! It has been plenty of fun, lots of tears, moments we would rather forget, and a multitude of celebrations to rejoice over, all of which has impacted the growing depth of our love for each other as well as our love for our Jesus!

Upon such a celebration, it is fun to look back at what we promised to one another on our wedding day and to see how those commitments have impacted the way we "do marriage." In the days leading up to our wedding, Justin and I were very intentional as we wrote our vows and are still pleased with the way they came together to reflect our hearts, so I thought I would share.

Justin's:

I Justin take you Angela to be my Wife,

Before God who brought us together

And before the Church,

The pure and radiant bride of Christ.

Having kept myself pure for you,

The one He has chosen for me,

I promise to be faithful to you,

To love and to cherish you

As Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her,

To lead you as I am lead by the Holy Spirit,

And to run together the race marked out for us

By our Lord Jesus Christ

Who has redeemed us by grace for His namesake,

So that we may grow in the likeness of Christ

And our home may bring Him the glory and honor

He deserves.

Angela's:

I Angela take you Justin to be my Husband,

Before God who brought us together

And before the Church,

The pure and radiant bride of Christ.

Having kept myself pure for you,

The one He has chosen for me,

I promise to be faithful to you,

To love, to cherish and to submit to you

In all things as you are lead by the Holy Spirit,

And to run together the race marked out for us

By our Lord Jesus Christ

Who has redeemed us by grace for His namesake,

So that we may grow in the likeness of Christ

And our home may bring Him the glory and honor

He deserves.

Through the ups and downs of our marriage, I am confident that the centrality of Christ is what has kept us grounded and able to walk through it all. I Praise our Faithful God for his absolute goodness toward us over the past 5 years!

I love you Justin Bassett and it is an honor to be you wife!

After 1 month

2010-03-10T22:26:00.007-06:00

Incredibly, it has been a month since sweet Charlotte was born and forever changed our lives! I just wanted to share a few thoughts about where we are and what God has been doing over the past few weeks.

We continue to grieve our loss, as we are reminded throughout each day of our baby who is no longer here. Sometimes the trigger is the toddler bed in Lizzie's room that Lainie doesn't have to sleep in, others it is the babycenter emails that keep appearing in my inbox, or the boxes of sweet little girl clothes that Charlotte will never wear, or the brand new nursing mom's room at CityView that I won't get to use to feed my precious girl. The waves of emotions have definitely caught us off guard at times, unexpectedly capturing our thoughts and reminding us of what we are missing. However, I am learning much more deeply the truth of Ecclesiastes 3:4- there is "a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;" I am realizing that sometimes weeping and laughter and mourning and dancing are far more intricately woven together than I had originally understood. God lovingly allows our emotions to vary greatly even in a short amount of time which is good. There is such a tension between grieving that I cannot hold and snuggle with Charlotte to rejoicing that she is pain free and in the presence of our King! I miss Charlotte but am so thankful for Lizzie and Lainie who I have gotten to hold and watch grow. In the midst of tears, Lainie has made me laugh uncontrollably many times. This mixture of emotions is God-ordained and to His glory!

Healing is a process, and even after "recovering," scars will still remain as reminders of where we have been and the journey we have traveled. Again, thank you for joining us on this journey. The texts, cards, emails, hugs, and sweet words have all been incredible tools of our good God to encourage us along the way and to point us back to Him. It is nice to know that even a month later, you have not forgotten. While grieving publicly is not always easy, we are thankful for the incredible support so many have shown and pray that God is somehow using our trials to sharpen your walk with Him.

A HUGE thanks to those of you who made donations to CityView in memory of Charlotte! Currently, over $4,000 has been given in her honor, and we are excited to see how God uses this generosity to impact the lives of children!

We will likely continue to post a monthly update on our grieving process and what God is doing in us. Other than that, there will probably be sporadic posts on Truths He is teaching us through Charlotte's life and death as well as the normal updates on life moving forward for our family.

With each monthly post, I will post one of the precious pictures our friend Cassie took at Charlotte's memorial service. Cassie blessed us greatly by volunteering to take pics for us!

21 Months

2010-03-08T21:23:00.005-06:00

Elaine Karis is now 21 months old and the precious comic relief in our family! While she is strong willed and will likely cause me to go crazy one of these days, she is the perfect fit in our family and we could not be more thankful for her!

A typical day for Elaine begins after 12-13 hours of sleep around 9:00. (yes, I know this makes some of you jealous!) Upon waking, she insists on putting all of her bedtime things (paci, lamb chop and lovie blanket) in her bag attached to her bed. Then, the battle begins as we "discus" what she will wear for the day; the girl is PICKY! I am learning to pick my battles, but some days I fight a little harder than others. Once she has put on her clothes it is time for breakfast, and Elaine loves her breakfast! It is not abnormal for this little lady to put down 2 adult servings of oatmeal ("mo-mo") on a normal morning, but she insists that it be doctored up with butter and milk ("budda" & "muhl"). Although Elaine still is developing a lot of her consonant sounds, she can communicate what she wants or doesn't want very clearly!! After breakfast and getting her hair fixed, Elaine will likely be found playing with her babies, farm animals, or little kitchen, or bugging Kyleigh, or trying to do whatever Lizzie is doing. She will almost always request a snack midmorning to keep that crazy metabolism going; cheese, clementine oranges, and graham crackers remain faves. If it is nice out, we spend as much time as possible outside- thankfully this time is becoming more frequent as spring approaches! Lunch for Elaine almost always includes peanut butter- not on bread or crackers, but on a spoon! If I am eating soup or a wrap, she will often request several bites, but doesn't take much interest if I give her her own. After lunch Elaine goes down for a good at least 2 hour nap and wakes up to happily "help" me with dinner, the dishes, and other cleaning around the house. She loves to mop, sweep, empty the dishwasher, throw away trash, move laundry from the washer to the dryer, and tidy up by taking things to their appropriate "homes". Elaine doesn't typically eat much dinner unless lasagna or black beans are served, but she enjoys the conversation and "amening" after we pray. After dinner bath time with Lizzie is lots of fun! Following another battle on which jammers she will wear, dance party with Lizzie begins. Once the dancing has calmed down and her teeth have been thoroughly brushed (still a fave), we usually read a book or two before we head to her room and sing as a family. Lainie goes down without a fight by this point because of the exhaustion of a busy day! I too am ready for bed by this time! We love our silly girl!

The tongue is a Lainie trademark, especially when she is concentrating!

Yes, she know she is cute!!

Jammer Pics

2010-03-06T21:06:00.001-06:00

I was just scrolling through pics and noticed I have a good sum of jammer pics, so I thought I would post a few of my pretty girls!

Dancing before bed has become the new cool thing in our casa!

Swing your partner!

Sissy kisses:)

You've heard of "Deuces" but have you heard of "Treses" ?

Crazy hair, thank you daddy!

Charlotte Jane- Saying Good Bye

2010-02-24T10:50:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I celebrated my 27th birthday without my sweet Charlotte Jane. Though by no means our plans, the grace of our sweet Jesus carried us through, just as He has everyday since Charlotte's birth, death, burial and memorial service.

We wanted to post some final thoughts from our 7 days with Charlotte Jane and the following 3 days from the time she died until her memorial service.

-First off, we now have a greater understanding of God's purpose for the Body of Christ- the Church and what it means to truly carry one another's burdens. We literally praise God for CityView on a weekly basis. This praise has taken on a much deeper meaning to us over the last week. We are so blessed to be able to run with a group of men and women that so deeply love Jesus and each other. We truly experienced the church joining us in suffering and helping us to carry this burden.

-Next we learned more in these last days about suffering than we have in our entire lives to this point. As our pastor said during Charlotte's memorial service, all suffering is an echo of the cross and some of us get the privilege of carrying that suffering on a deeper or more realized way from time to time. In the midst of our pain, while seeing the place where Charlotte would be buried, we discovered a family that lost 3 children in a span of 9 months. While we are suffering, we realized that we're certainly not the only ones who have suffered in this way and we believe that God will help us to see with a clearer lens those around us who are suffering and help us to better carry their burdens.

- It is clearly evident to us that God used Charlotte in her 7 days for His glory in profound ways! While we probably won't learn the full extent of His plans and purposes this side of Heaven, we see glimpses and reflections of the ways He worked through her and are confident that He will continue to do so.

- Also, we have learned more about the true meaning of joy. As we have always believed that "God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him", we understand the concept of being satisfied in a much deeper way after this tragedy. Satisfaction and joy do not always mean "happiness". Sometimes satisfaction is looking at your life at the point where you are experiencing deeply rooted pain and being able to say "Christ is enough". We've had to do that many times in the past couple of weeks in order to get through. One of my favorite texts we received was from a CityView family who told me that they were all gathered together on their knees at an hour when most were asleep, praying that Christ would be enough for us in this tragedy, and in fact, He has been!

-Charlotte's life and legacy will continue on in a very real way in our family. We are very sure that God is going to use this event to draw people to Himself as he places people in our lives that we can minister to. We already learned of a couple who is facing a similar challenge. They have been told that their baby who is due sometime this spring, has issues that are "incompatible with life". We are hoping to get to speak with this couple and encourage them with the Truth that has been so encouraging to us. Furthermore, we trust and believe that God is not random in choosing us to endure this trial. We know that God will use us, even Lizzie and Lainie to minister to those who face similar situations.

Tonight as I watched Elizabeth and Elaine playing in the bathtub and as we sang together as a family, I missed Charlotte deeply. We are well aware that our pain and suffering will continue and that we will have good days and days where we struggle. Through it all though, we are thankful that we can cling to the Truth that our God is Good and is working all things together for His glory and our good.

Thank you for all of you who have followed our journey, prayed for us, encouraged us, cried with us and celebrated Charlotte's life with us. Words cannot express our thanks and love!

Day 7 for Charlotte Jane

2010-02-17T21:48:00.009-06:00

For those of who have not yet found out this information, day 7 for Charlotte Jane ended not much longer after it started. She went home to be with Jesus this morning at 5:30 am. After one more very tough night, we left the hospital at 2:00 am this morning with a peace that we may never see Charlotte Jane on this side of Heaven. We had an incredibly tough night of watching her monitor constantly and having to face the reality that this would probably be her last day on earth.

One of the things that we do with Elaine is sing songs to her that speak of the glory and splendor of Jesus before putting her to bed. Two of our favorites are Before the Throne and O Glorious Day. Realizing that we would never have this opportunity with Charlotte, we sang to her both songs before leaving the hospital with a peace that we might not see her again. However, God is good and continues to answer prayers. One of Ang's prayers was that we would be able to hold her in our arms before she went Home. Two hours later at 4:00 am, the nurse called us and told us that she was not doing well and that we needed to come back to the hospital immediately. We got in the car, drove to the hospital and were able to spend an hour holding her before she died. This was yet another grace that God gave us. We talked about how many parents have to face miscarriages and never get to hold their babies. Although the last week has been so hard for us, we got to hold Charlotte Jane and for that we are so thankful!

We also want to say how much we have felt the love that comes from being surrounded by the Church, both our church home CityView, and so many other Christ followers who have supported us during this time. We do not know where we would be without the prayer of so many people who have come along side us and endured this suffering with us.

Memorial Service Information

We will be holding a memorial service for Charlotte Jane this Saturday (Feb. 20) at 10am. The service will be held at Fort Worth Presbyterian Church in southwest Fort Worth (6251 Oakmont Trail). This will be a time of worship to celebrate Charlotte's life and the goodness of our Savior. In lieu of flowers, we are asking that donations be made to the CityView Church children's ministry. If you still want to give flowers, we are asking for individual stem tulips of all colors-as opposed to floral arrangements.

Prayer Requests

- We are going to try and explain what's going on to Elizabeth, our 3 year old, in the morning. Pray for that conversation and that she would be able to understand and that we would be able to explain things in a way that she can grasp.

- Pray for our hearts as we move forward with life in yet another "new normal".

- Pray that we continue to trust God and cling to the promise that Jesus is enough.